Gloria: Phil, thank you so much for helping, especially after Jay was so rude to you last night.
[aside to camera:]
Phil: I wanted to start a new family tradition. In a way, I succeeded. We now have Phil Un-appreciation Day.
[flashback:]
Phil: Hear ye, hear ye!
Jay: Nope.
Phil: I hereby declare the opening of the first annual Dunphy Games.
Jay: Hard pass.
Phil: Tests of strength, games of chance with the champion receiving the coveted Dunphy chalice and this gift card to Yogurtland.
Jay: Phil, it's not going to happen.
Phil: Your dissent has been noted, town elder, but perhaps those who've seen fewer winters should cast a vote. [chatter]
Frank: Who dares accept the challenge of a noodle-joust?
Phil: No sale, Dad.
Frank: Oh, well. Nice try, Son. I'll probably just drive back to Florida, then. Great to see you guys.