Haley: Tonight was insane. Why did you have to act like that?
Phil: You were at that party. I see you talking to frat boys, and-
Haley: Isn't that why we're here, so I can experience college? I mean, what are you gonna do when I actually go?
Phil: I don't know. Freak out, I think. Look your whole life, my job has been to protect you. A job I kind of love. Now I feel like I'm being forced into early retirement. I just needed to find you and make sure you were okay, for as long as I still get to do that.
Haley: It's just like you- Piss me off and then say something sweet. I'm not leaving until the fall.
Phil: Maybe by then I can figure out how to put a force field around you. I've been working on that one since the first time I tried to fasten you into your car seat. I pinched your chunky little thigh.
Haley: Aw. Even though you basically just called me fat.