Malcolm Quote #450

Quote from Malcolm in Future Malcolm

Leonard: You're really improving, Rubio. You've stopped making the "vroom" noises When you move your pieces.
Malcolm: Hey, Leonard.
Leonard: Oh, you got to see this. Physically hurts, doesn't it?
Malcolm: Listen, I was talking to this guy I know. I got you a job interview.
Leonard: What the hell are you talking about?
Malcolm: You are a miserable person. You barely have a job, and you're completely dysfunctional when it comes to communicating with people.
Leonard: And that's my fault? It's not everyone else in the world?
Malcolm: It doesn't have to be like that. If you have a job where you're around people, you can get used to each other and maybe turn things around.
Leonard: Forget it. I'm not wasting my time on some stupid job interview because you have some desperate need to save yourself through me.
Malcolm: Why don't you invest some of that neurotic energy in confronting your own fear of failure?
Leonard: Oh, goodness, the clouds have parted, and I can now commit to a new life, thanks to your Oprah-esque psychological insights.
Malcolm: And now you're trying to invalidate the real issue by dancing around it with what you think is clever wordplay. Screw this. I'll play you for it.

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 ‘Future Malcolm’ Quotes

Quote from Otto

Otto: Francis, you have inspired me to new heights. See how I have captured the confident power of your torso, the sheer arrogance of your ass.

Quote from Malcolm

[Reese is eating a jalapeno pepper as Malcolm reads the Guinness Book of World Records]
Reese: [groans] How many more for the record?
Malcolm: Two more tubs should do it. [to camera] There really isn't a category for eating jalapenos, but I think he's probably suffered enough. I'm going to tell him in a minute.
[cut to Malcolm dumping another bag of ice in Reese's bath:]
Reese: [whimpers]
Malcolm: [to camera] I'm so close to telling him, honest.
[cut to Reese running into a wall:]
Reese: [yells] Ninty-seven.
Malcolm: [to camera] Really, I'm going to tell him.
Reese: [yells]

Quote from Malcolm

Malcolm: Anything I want to do, they don't understand. And if they do understand, they just make fun of it. But why should I expect them to be any different than the rest of the world? Let's face it, everyone on this planet is a brain-dead, butt-scratching half-wit.
Stevie: Bite... us.