Malcolm: So, uh, is this all you do every day? Just hang out in the park and play chess with strangers?
Leonard: No. I also enjoy long walks on the beach and bubble baths. Of course, I'd have to say my greatest turn-on is honesty.
Malcolm: So basically, the only human contact you have Is playing chess with people who can't stand you?
Leonard: I hate to burst your little after-school-special bubble, but I'm not some kind of loser. I have a perfect life. I have a great job selling toner over the phone. I make a few calls... Bing, bang, bing, it's 10:00. I've got the rest of the day to myself.
Malcolm: You can't possibly make enough money doing that.
Leonard: Well, I thought you were a little smarter than that, Malcolm. It's not about money. It's about freedom. I am my own man. I do what I want, when I want. I don't answer to anyone for anything, ever. [chuckles]
George: Where's my 20 bucks, Leonard? You said you'd have it on Monday.
Leonard: Yeah, I have it, It's right here. I- You know, I was- I was looking for you. You know, I couldn't find you, and then I had some important business meetings that I had to get to, but here... 13, 14... Um, uh, you take cigarettes, right?
George: I quit.
Leonard: Oh, good for you. That's so good because, you know, these things will kill you slow. Th-That's the truth, you know, and [George shoves a chess piece up Leonard's nose] And the cost is... [to Malcolm] Give him six bucks! [George walks away] Take it easy, George. What a dumbass!