Reese Quote #610
Quote from Reese in Bride of Ida
Reese: Cool! Grandma's got props for the next one.
Malcolm: I'm done, Reese. I'm not going through any more of these trials.
Reese: What's the matter? I thought we were finally doing something as a family.
Malcolm: If you want to let that crazy old bat ruin your life, fine. Knock yourself out.
Reese: How is she ruining my life? She's getting me a bride. A female bride. I mean, what are the odds that a girl is ever going to want me?
Malcolm: You can get a girl, Reese. If you just didn't act like a vicious, stupid thug all the time.
Reese: Come on, Malcolm, let's be realistic.
Malcolm in the Middle Quotes
‘Bride of Ida’ Quotes
Quote from Malcolm
Reese: Grandma, Malcolm doesn't want to play anymore. So I guess I win by forfeit.
Ida: What?! You cannot become a man by forfeit. You must go through all the trials. You must win every one.
Reese: But they're your rules. Can't you just change them?
Ida: These are not my rules. These are the ways of our people. The ways cannot die.
Malcolm: Yes, they can. They should. They should be murdered and mashed up and dumped down a salt mine along with nuclear waste and left there to fester and rot in a toxic pool of its own filth!
Ida: Your pretty words don't hide your fear.
Malcolm: What?!
Ida: You are afraid of the next trial because it is a test of intelligence. You are afraid to find out who is really the smart one in the family. He goes around with his nose in a book, sucking in facts. He doesn't have what we have. You and I have street smarts.
Malcolm: Oh, here we go. Every moron who's willing to act like a criminal is loaded with street smarts. Well, let me tell you something, Grandma, you're either smart or you're not. Saying you have street smarts just means you're willing to do things that smart, sensitive people are too decent to do. That's not a sign of intelligence. [Ida is silent] It's not. It's not!
Quote from Lois
Reese: What's Grandma doing here?!
Malcolm: You never said Grandma was coming!
Lois: Oh, I didn't? Ah, well, then, it's just a nice surprise for you boys. Remember last month when you came in after curfew and you said, "What are you going to do about it?" Sorry it took me so long to get back to you.
Quote from Malcolm
Ida: This is the final test. The game of Vishnok will show us who has the brains around here.
Reese: Grandma, how do we play?
Ida: Shh! You will listen! The rabbits run to their lair. The moon embraces you. The horse turns to lead. The apple holds the key. You have two minutes.
Reese: What are we doing?
Malcolm: I don't know. Did you feel this?
Reese: What?
[As Reese sticks his hands through the two holes in the board, the holes tighten around his arms]
Malcolm: The rabbits run to their lair.
[As Reese's head is pulled down towards the board, the wooden "moon" extends behind his neck.]
Malcolm: The moon embraces you. The horse turns to lead.
[Malcolm hooks Reese's nose with the horse figure. As Reese screams, Malcolm sticks the apple in his mouth. Malcolm then pushes down on Reese's head, forcing him to bite into the apple and reveal the key]
Malcolm: The apple holds the key. Ha! I beat him! It's over! [Ida mutters in Russian] The marriage is off. After 2,000 years your ways are dead.
Ida: I am content the ways have been followed.
Malcolm: What?! No. No, you don't get to pretend you're okay with this. I never followed your ways. Well, I did, but it was for a different reason...