Hal Quote #802
Quote from Hal in Malcolm Defends Reese
Lois: Hal, I have to do something about Claire. She is driving me crazy. [sees Hal assembling a romantic card] Oh, Hal, that is so sweet.
Hal: It's not for you.
Lois: [sighs] Didn't you learn your lesson with Francis?
Hal: That Jenny Thompson was a stuck-up snot.
Malcolm in the Middle Quotes
‘Malcolm Defends Reese’ Quotes
Quote from Mr. Herkabe
Mr. Herkabe: Fascinating timeline, Reese. So let's see. It was the moon landing, the War of 1812, then the Lincoln-Kennedy shoot-out.
Malcolm: [to camera] It's embarrassing enough having Reese in my class this year. What's worse is Herkabe's made him his personal whipping boy.
Mr. Herkabe: Reese, I'm just looking through my notes here, and it appears that that was your twentieth wrong answer in a row. And you know what that means, don't you?
Students: [chant] Monkey dance! Monkey dance! Monkey dance!
Reese: Monkey dance?
Mr. Herkabe: Your first right answer. Well, let's not leave your audience waiting.
[Reese dances like a monkey as his classmates chant. Malcolm gives Mr. Herkabe a disapproving look.]
Mr. Herkabe: Wait, Reese. Stop. This isn't right. [plays music] Okay, continue.
Quote from Mr. Herkabe
Mr. Herkabe: I won it my senior year.
Malcolm: Football trophy?
Mr. Herkabe: Behind that.
Malcolm: The soccer trophy?
Mr. Herkabe: Behind that.
Malcolm: There's just a bunch of crappy ribbons.
Mr. Herkabe: Behind the spelling bee award.
Malcolm: That thing that looks like it broke off that other trophy?
Mr. Herkabe: I cannot be responsible for the myopic value this sports-obsessed administration places on academic achievement. But that little plaque represents the highest GPA in the history of the school, and it is mine, Malcolm. All mine.
Malcolm: So what?
Mr. Herkabe: So what? I had to work hard for that plaque. I had to score higher than Edna Fornby, who'd held the title for 38 years. A towering intellect, blind since birth, went on to be a Rhodes scholar. Really classy lady. Cried like a baby when I took it from her. What a night.
Quote from Mr. Herkabe
Reese: I don't know. I can't think any more. Is it... "C"?
Mr. Herkabe: I'm sorry, Reese. That's incorrect. Hammy? [the hamster presses a button marked A] Yes! Fort Ticonderoga is correct. I was looking for a close race, but, Hammy, you've really run away with this thing. [bell rings] I'm sorry, that's all the time we have today, but join us again tomorrow for another exciting installment of "What Is Dumber Than Reese?"