Hal Quote #946
Quote from Hal in Malcolm Defends Reese
Lois: Hal, I have bigger problems. I cannot stand that woman. Which normally isn't an issue, except, I can't afford to tell her off and lose her. She's good with Jamie, she's right down the street, she's incredibly cheap. She'd be perfect if she weren't the most annoying person on the face of the planet. I feel like the top of my head is going to explode if I hear her say another word.
Hal: What rhymes with dreamy?
Lois: Hal, for God's sake.
Hal: I heard what you said, Lois. Look, you just have to completely disengage with her. Take Jamie when she drops him off, nod pleasantly, you can even smile, and then, slam the door in her face. And don't beat yourself up over it. Some people are just crazy. Do we have any fun stickers?
Malcolm in the Middle Quotes
‘Malcolm Defends Reese’ Quotes
Quote from Mr. Herkabe
Mr. Herkabe: Fascinating timeline, Reese. So let's see. It was the moon landing, the War of 1812, then the Lincoln-Kennedy shoot-out.
Malcolm: [to camera] It's embarrassing enough having Reese in my class this year. What's worse is Herkabe's made him his personal whipping boy.
Mr. Herkabe: Reese, I'm just looking through my notes here, and it appears that that was your twentieth wrong answer in a row. And you know what that means, don't you?
Students: [chant] Monkey dance! Monkey dance! Monkey dance!
Reese: Monkey dance?
Mr. Herkabe: Your first right answer. Well, let's not leave your audience waiting.
[Reese dances like a monkey as his classmates chant. Malcolm gives Mr. Herkabe a disapproving look.]
Mr. Herkabe: Wait, Reese. Stop. This isn't right. [plays music] Okay, continue.
Quote from Mr. Herkabe
Mr. Herkabe: I won it my senior year.
Malcolm: Football trophy?
Mr. Herkabe: Behind that.
Malcolm: The soccer trophy?
Mr. Herkabe: Behind that.
Malcolm: There's just a bunch of crappy ribbons.
Mr. Herkabe: Behind the spelling bee award.
Malcolm: That thing that looks like it broke off that other trophy?
Mr. Herkabe: I cannot be responsible for the myopic value this sports-obsessed administration places on academic achievement. But that little plaque represents the highest GPA in the history of the school, and it is mine, Malcolm. All mine.
Malcolm: So what?
Mr. Herkabe: So what? I had to work hard for that plaque. I had to score higher than Edna Fornby, who'd held the title for 38 years. A towering intellect, blind since birth, went on to be a Rhodes scholar. Really classy lady. Cried like a baby when I took it from her. What a night.
Quote from Mr. Herkabe
Reese: I don't know. I can't think any more. Is it... "C"?
Mr. Herkabe: I'm sorry, Reese. That's incorrect. Hammy? [the hamster presses a button marked A] Yes! Fort Ticonderoga is correct. I was looking for a close race, but, Hammy, you've really run away with this thing. [bell rings] I'm sorry, that's all the time we have today, but join us again tomorrow for another exciting installment of "What Is Dumber Than Reese?"