Lois Quote #643
Quote from Lois in Malcolm Defends Reese
Claire: Lois, hello, it's me, Claire.
Lois: Hey, come on in. Hi, sweetie. Claire, you are a godsend. Thank you for taking him on such short notice. Is this schedule gonna work for you?
Claire: Oh, good Lord, Lois. Any schedule works for me. What have I got to do with my time? Poke around a big, empty house, waiting for one of my kids to call? We both know that's not gonna happen. Boy, you know, you raise them, you put the through college, and loan them money to buy a house, and suddenly, they don't need you anymore. God forbid you should express a need to them. I could tell you stories...
Lois: Bet you could.
Claire: Yeah.
Lois: Well. Again, thank you.
Claire: I'm glad to do it, honestly. Takes my mind off my shingles. [gasps] Good Lord, you've never felt pain like that in all your waking days. It's just dreadful. Did I tell you about the pain?
Lois: I think you did this morning.
Claire: It's worse than my arthritis, which is crippling. It feels like someone's stabbing you all over with tiny, razor-sharp knives. Oh, pray God you never get it, Lois. Oh, listen to me just going on and on about myself. [chuckles] Wind me up and I can talk all day.
Lois: Well, like I said, I have a million things to do.
Claire: You know, so do I. [removes coat] So do I. I have laundry stacked up just waiting for me. [sits down] And I have so neglected my scrapbooking that it's a scandal. Do you scrapbook, Lois? They've got these really cute kits. It's a lot of fun. My niece Terri - well, she prefers Teresa, but she's a Terri. Anyway, she got me started on it. Well, what else is she gonna do with herself? She's barren, poor thing.
Malcolm in the Middle Quotes
‘Malcolm Defends Reese’ Quotes
Quote from Mr. Herkabe
Mr. Herkabe: Fascinating timeline, Reese. So let's see. It was the moon landing, the War of 1812, then the Lincoln-Kennedy shoot-out.
Malcolm: [to camera] It's embarrassing enough having Reese in my class this year. What's worse is Herkabe's made him his personal whipping boy.
Mr. Herkabe: Reese, I'm just looking through my notes here, and it appears that that was your twentieth wrong answer in a row. And you know what that means, don't you?
Students: [chant] Monkey dance! Monkey dance! Monkey dance!
Reese: Monkey dance?
Mr. Herkabe: Your first right answer. Well, let's not leave your audience waiting.
[Reese dances like a monkey as his classmates chant. Malcolm gives Mr. Herkabe a disapproving look.]
Mr. Herkabe: Wait, Reese. Stop. This isn't right. [plays music] Okay, continue.
Quote from Mr. Herkabe
Mr. Herkabe: I won it my senior year.
Malcolm: Football trophy?
Mr. Herkabe: Behind that.
Malcolm: The soccer trophy?
Mr. Herkabe: Behind that.
Malcolm: There's just a bunch of crappy ribbons.
Mr. Herkabe: Behind the spelling bee award.
Malcolm: That thing that looks like it broke off that other trophy?
Mr. Herkabe: I cannot be responsible for the myopic value this sports-obsessed administration places on academic achievement. But that little plaque represents the highest GPA in the history of the school, and it is mine, Malcolm. All mine.
Malcolm: So what?
Mr. Herkabe: So what? I had to work hard for that plaque. I had to score higher than Edna Fornby, who'd held the title for 38 years. A towering intellect, blind since birth, went on to be a Rhodes scholar. Really classy lady. Cried like a baby when I took it from her. What a night.
Quote from Mr. Herkabe
Reese: I don't know. I can't think any more. Is it... "C"?
Mr. Herkabe: I'm sorry, Reese. That's incorrect. Hammy? [the hamster presses a button marked A] Yes! Fort Ticonderoga is correct. I was looking for a close race, but, Hammy, you've really run away with this thing. [bell rings] I'm sorry, that's all the time we have today, but join us again tomorrow for another exciting installment of "What Is Dumber Than Reese?"