Lois: [answers phone] Hello.
Francis: Hey, Mom, I'm just warning you someone claiming to be the Commandant might call you. It's this guy down the hall. Play along and pretend you believe him. He's totally harmless.
Lois: Francis, I really can't talk to you right now. We're on our way to Aunt Helen's funeral.
Francis: Aunt Helen died?
Lois: Well, I sure hope so. We're going to her funeral.
Francis: Well, when did she die? Mom, why didn't anybody tell me?
Lois: Well, honey, we didn't want to have to worry you over nothing.
Francis: Nothing? She's dead. How's Uncle Fred taking it?
Lois: Well, I don't think he's thought too much about it. He died two months ago.
Francis: What?!
Lois: Francis, I'm sorry. I really have to go. Here, talk to your brother. [hands phone to Egg]