Malcolm: Mom, I can't stop feeling bad about what I did to Kevin. I feel like I have a monster inside of me.
Lois: Oh, for crying out loud, Malcolm, that's no monster. That's your conscience. You should be thankful God gave you one.
Malcolm: Yeah. It feels great.
Lois: I'm serious. It's a gift. And you know what most people do with theirs? They keep them in the closet all year and bring them out only when they think he's coming to visit. You're not like that. Good for you.
Malcolm: But I can't stop thinking about it. [Lois pokes Malcolm's wound] Ow!
Lois: Were you thinking about it just then?
Malcolm: No!
Lois: See? I promise you will feel bad about Kevin only as long as you're supposed to. Now, go to bed. You're a nice boy, Malcolm, and I'll kick the conniption out of anybody who says you aren't. Including that little voice in your head.