Lois: Oh, this is outrageous!
Hal: What's the matter?
Lois: The blender is broken. There's no excuse for this!
Hal: Honey, we have had it since before Dewey was born.
Lois: I don't care. They said a lifetime guarantee. A lifetime is not ten or eleven years. Hal, if they want to say a ten or eleven-year guarantee, that's fine. I'll make my blender-buying decisions accordingly, but they said "lifetime." I'm getting my money back or a blender of equal or greater value.
Hal: How are you going to find the warranty from ten years ago?
Lois: I'm sure it's with the rest of the papers in the garage.
Hal: Well, honey, you'll never find it out there. What did this cost, $19?
Lois: That's what they want you to say! That's why they don't charge more! That's how they get you!