Craig: I need you to cover the rest of my shift for me.
Lois: Again? Craig, what's going on?
Craig: Paula wants to surprise Fred for their anniversary. He's a big golfer, so she wants to learn how, so I've been giving her lessons.
Lois: But you don't know how to golf.
Craig: True, but somehow she got the idea that I only missed the cut at the Masters by three strokes.
Lois: You lied to her?
Craig: Lois, my job here is hanging by a thread. I thought if I could help the boss's wife surprise him with a game of golf, they'd end up kissing on the 18th green, and maybe I'd be in there somewhere getting the credit for it.
Lois: Or you could just work hard at your job and then you wouldn't have to suck up.
Craig: Lois, I don't have time for your fantasies. I'm in trouble here. The first few lessons we worked on driving the cart, but now she wants to know how to swing a club. I need to take a lesson so I can bluff my way through her lessons.
Lois: Craig.
Craig: Please, Lois. I can't lose this job. This is the only true thing on my resume.