Future Ted Quote #90

Quote from Future Ted in Miracles

Future Ted: Kids, this is the story of the cab ride that changed my life. I know it sounds crazy, but for all I know my life would be very different if I had taken, say... that cab. Or that cab. God knows what would have happened if I had gotten into that cab. I took this cab. And it changed my whole life. But first, we need to back up a little.

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 ‘Miracles’ Quotes

Quote from Robin

Robin: Ugh, man, I love Springsteen! He's like the American Bryan Adams.

Quote from Barney

Barney: I had to look away because if I watched what the paramedics were about to do, I would have passed out. Then they took out this electric blade thing and I kept thinking, "This isn't happening. This isn't happening. "
Lily: Oh, my God. What did they cut?
Barney: My suit. My beautiful suit.

 Future Ted Quotes

Quote from Murtaugh

Ted: Yeah, whatever. I'm adding laser tag to the Murtaugh List.
Barney: Jeez, not the Murtaugh List.
Robin: What's the Murtaugh List?
Future Ted: [v.o.] The Murtaugh List is something that came into being around the time I turned 30. It all started with your Uncle Marshall's beer bong. When we were in our early 20s, every time we had a party, that beer bong came out. And around the time we turned 30, same thing. Of course, in our early 20s, the next day would go like this.
[flashback to Ted and Marshall playing around in their underwear]
Future Ted: But by the time we were 30, the next day would go like this.
[Ted on the couch with a sick bucket]
Future Ted: Then one day, in the throes of the worst hangover of my life, I realized there was only one person in the world that I could relate to: Detective Roger Murtaugh, played by Danny Glover in the '80s noir masterpiece Lethal Weapon, known for his oft-quoted catchphrase:
Murtaugh: I'm too old for this...
Future Ted: "Stuff." He said, "I'm too old for this stuff."

Quote from The End of the Aisle

Future Ted: [v.o.] Kids, I won't lie, that was a long weekend. More ups and downs than I can count. It was a twisting, turning road that led to the end of the aisle, and not everything along the way was perfect. To be honest, not everything to follow would be perfect either. But what is? Here's the secret, kids: none of us can vow to be perfect. In the end, all we can do is promise to love each other with everything we've got. Because love's the best thing we do. And on that lovely spring evening, that's exactly what Barney and Robin vowed to each other. And it was legendary.