Barney: I had to look away because if I watched what the paramedics were about to do, I would have passed out. Then they took out this electric blade thing and I kept thinking, "This isn't happening. This isn't happening. "
Lily: Oh, my God. What did they cut?
Barney: My suit. My beautiful suit.

Lily: Is that the something bad? That she invited you to a wedding?
Ted: Six months from now. As in we'll be together six months from now. Do you guys remember Barney's whole thing about making plans in a relationship?
[flashback to the guys at MacLaren's:]
Ted: Fourth row.
Barney: Ted, no. You're violating the date-time continuum. You never make plans with a girl further in the future than the amount of time you've been going out. You've been dating this girl for, what, two weeks? No, you're not taking her to a Springsteen concert in January. [rips tickets] By that time you won't even remember this Robin girl's name.

Lily: Speaking of Barney, I should give him a call.
Ted: Why? We're not friends anymore.
Lily: You'd want to know if this happened to him.
Barney: [answers phone] Go for Barney.
Lily: Hey, Barney. Listen, I have something to tell you.
Barney: Oh, boy, here we go. I've been waiting for this one. You talked to Robin. She told you what's under the hood and you want to take it for a spin yourself.
Lily: Not even if you boiled it in detergent.