Ted Quote #774

Quote from Ted in Zoo or False

Marshall: Okay, look, I got to admit something. That mugging didn't happen exactly the way that I said it did.
Barney: Aha! So he was wearing a black skull-knit cap! Told you!
Marshall: No, he wasn't wearing a black skull-knit cap. He wasn't wearing anything.
Ted: Wait. So...
[fantasy scene of Marshall being threatened at a gun point by a naked man]
Lily: He naked-muggered you?
Barney: I'm not gonna ask where he was keeping the gun.
Ted: Are we sure it was a gun?

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 ‘Zoo or False’ Quotes

Quote from Barney

Ted: Okay, this may come as a shock to you, Barney, but people don't like to be lied to.
Barney: Wrong. They don't like finding out they've been lied to. "Because a lie is just a great story that someone ruined with the truth." Barney Stinson.

Quote from Barney

Future Ted: [v.o.] Kids, you may be wondering how many of these stories I'm telling you are true. It's a fair question. After all, there's a fine line between a good story and a bald-faced lie. I've never met anyone who could work that line better than your Uncle Barney. Heck, he could jump rope with it.
[at MacLaren's:]
Barney: I love to travel myself.
Sarah: Really? Where's the best place you've visited?
Barney: Hawaii's nice. A buddy of mine lives in Seattle, that's a good spot. But the best place, I'd have to say the moon. Hi, Neil Armstrong.
[later, in the apartment:]
Ted: No! You did not convince a girl you were the first man to walk on the moon! That happened seven years before you were born.
Barney: Ted, baby doll, minor hurdle.
[flashback:]
Barney: Oh, yeah, well, our spaceship passed through a wormhole or some gamma rays or something. I started aging backwards, blah, blah, blah. So, you work in a yogurt shop, that must be wild.

Quote from Barney

Marshall: Although, I did actually work in a yogurt store in high school. And it was indeed wild.
Barney: Anywho, 20 minutes later, the eagle landed. We knocked space boots. Houston, we have a moaner. Other space related double entendres.