Marshall Quote #543
Quote from Marshall in Duel Citizenship
Ted: I am ready to hit the road. I got baby wipes. I got a variety of jerky. I got six cans of Tantrum. Well, four. One burned though the can, the other one I drank already. [tears open a pillow] Tantrum! I am so psyched! Marshall and I haven't done something, just the two of us, for so long. Ever since he got married, he's turned from an "I" to a "We".
Barney: What do you mean?
Ted: Think about it.
[flashback to Ted on the phone with Marshall, who is at MacLaren's with Lily:]
Ted: Hey, haven't seen you all week. How you doing?
Marshall: We're doing great.
Ted: Do you watch the Jets game?
Marshall: We most certainly did.
Ted: How'd things go at the doctor?
Marshall: We no longer have a hemorrhoid problem.
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘Duel Citizenship’ Quotes
Quote from Barney
Robin: When I moved to the States, I swore to myself, I wasn't going to change. And yet, here I am, in the most Canadian place in the universe, Tim Horton's, around the corner from the Hockey Hall of Fame, and I don't belong. It's like I don't have a country.
Barney: Okay, that's it. [stands on a chair] Attention, Canada! I am Barney from America. And I'm here to fix your backward-ass country. Number one: get real money. Don't know what board game this came from, but it's a "joke". Number two, and this is the biggie, quit letting awesome chicks like Robin Scherbatsky get away because, guess what? You don't want her? I'm planting my flag in her - if you know what I mean, which you probably don't - and getting her the hell out of here. You may now return to being pointless. [as Barney sits down, three men stand behind him) Ah, this coffee is excellent. Oh. Hey, fellas. It's called a "tie".
[One of the men gives a signal to a young boy wearing a hockey jersey. The kid slides his hockey stick through the restaurant door handles, then makes a fist punch gesture at Barney.]
Quote from Barney
Barney: But you know, it's not going to be easy, this test. It's not like the Canadian citizenship test.
Robin: How do you know the Canadian test is easy?
Barney: It's Canada. Question one: Do you want to be Canadian? Question two: Really?
Quote from Barney
Barney: How many stars are on the flag?
Robin: 50, one for each state.
Barney: What are the first ten amendments to the Constitution called?
Robin: The Bill of Rights. Look, Barney, I know all this. I'm ready.
Barney: Ready for the test maybe, but ready to be an American? Not on your sweet life. For you to be an American, we got to get the Canadian out of you. That's why I've created these questions. Question one: Who is this?
Robin: Queen Elizabeth II.
Barney: No, the answer is Elton John. Question two: "What the hell is this?"
Robin: Oh, curling. Um, it's a sport played...
Barney: Wrong. The answer we were looking for was "I don't care, it's dumb". Let's go buy something that's bad for us and then sue the people who made it. That's American, Robin.