Ted Quote #578

Quote from Ted in Old King Clancy

Future Ted: [v.o.] In the spring of 2009 I've been hired to design a new headquarters for Goliath National Bank. And I was eager to add as much of my voices as an architect into the plan as possible.
Ted: Woodbeams bathed in natural light in the atrium. They're gonna love it!
Future Ted: There was only one problem and his name was Bilson.
[in the GNB conference room:]
Bilson: Wood? Natural light? Ah, no! Natural light reminds the workers that there is an outside world where they have family and friends. We want to crash that! You show up in the dark, you go home in the dark. You spend your whole damn day in the dark!
Marshall: [whispers to Barney] I need to hear Lily's voice
Bilson: Who said you could leave?

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 ‘Old King Clancy’ Quotes

Quote from Robin

Lily: I'm going to read it. Here we go. "The Frozen Snowshoe, Old King Clancy, Harvey's trays."
Robin: Right?
Lily: I don't know what any of those words mean.
Barney: Is one of those supposed to be a celebrity?
Marshall: Yeah, who the hell is Old King Clancy?
Robin: No, that's not the person, that's the sex act. It's the same as a Sacramento Turtleneck, except with maple syrup.
Marshall: So the celebrity was Harvey Strays?
Robin: No, that's what he collected. Harvey's trays. Yeah, those classic orange trays you get whenever you eat at Harvey's? The restaurant? Oh, come on, you're road tripping down the Trans-Canada Highway, you get a hunger on between Milverton and Wawa, where you gonna strap on a feed bag, huh? Harvey's. Over 12,000 served!
Lily: So the celebrity was...
Robin: The Frozen Snowshoe. Oh, my God! You guys have never heard of The Frozen Snowshoe? He's only the most famous professional wrestler in Canada. I met him after he defeated Reckless Rick Rogers in the Kamloops Memorial Arena back in '02. Classic match.
Lily: So you're saying The Frozen Snowshoe invited you back to his place to look at Harvey's trays, and asked you to do an Old King Clancy?
Robin: Exactly. And I'm serious, you cannot tell anyone.

Quote from Robin

Lily: Okay, I'm going to make my first guess.
Robin: Okay, but I'll only tell you if you correctly guess the person, the act and the collection.
Lily: Okay, I'm going to go. Bryan Adams. He collects baseball cards, and he wanted to do a "Greasy Kayak."
Robin: No.
Barney: Wayne Gretzky, vintage Hot Wheels, a "Squatting Eskimo."
Robin: No.
Marshall: Kiefer Sutherland, souvenir shot glasses, and a "Sticky Flapjack."
Robin: No. That I would have done.

Quote from Robin

Lily: What the hell is a "Two-Hand Zamboni"?
Robin: Let's just say, the only thing the woman is wearing is skates on her hands.
Lily: A "Manitoba Milk Bag"?
Robin: Okay, it's like a "Chicago Mustache," but the person on the bottom is wearing a snowsuit.
Lily: A "Newfoundland Lobster Trap"?
Robin: Don't know. Don't want to know. Those Newfies are out of control.