Robin Quote #336
Robin: Look, guys, we've got this covered, okay? No one's gonna get hurt. We set up ground rules.
[flashback to Ted and Robin in the apartment:]
Ted: Rule number one, this is strictly a physical relationship. There are no feelings involved, okay?
Robin: Oh, please, that's like telling the Fonz to be cool.
Ted: And since it's just physical, we don't have to worry about romance, right?
Robin: Hell, no. Ooh, we can do it while we watch TV!
Ted: Totally! And we can multi-task. You know, use the sex to spice up otherwise dull activities.
Robin: Like folding laundry.
Ted: Paying bills.
Robin: Cooking dinner.
Ted: That doesn't seem hygienic.
Robin: Yeah, not that one.
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘Benefits’ Quotes
Quote from Barney
Ted: Oh, like Barney's theory about world peace?
[flashback to Barney talking to Ted at MacLaren's:]
Barney: So I explained to her. I said, Madeline, every single international conflict essentially boils down to sexual tension.
Ted: Every international conflict?
Barney: Every single one, dude.
Ted: So the crisis in the Middle East could be solved by...
Barney: Gaza Strippers. Next.
Ted: Apartheid?
Barney: Apart thighs. What else you got?
Ted: Cold War?
Barney: "Mrs. Gorbachev, take down those pants."
Quote from Barney
Ted: Sorry I'm late. I was just jammin' on Scherbatsky. She used up all my stamps, so long story short, the postman rang twice. You must bump this!
Barney: That's... just... so... Excuse me for a second.
[later, Barney finds the dumpster behind MacLaren's is empty. He goes to an electronics store]
Barney: So, you're saying plasmas are better for low light, but LCDs are better for games?
Clerk: Right, but the CRTs have the truest blacks.
Barney: So, if I want a really crisp contrast ratio...
Clerk: The CRT's deep-pixel cell structure produces a resolution you just can't match with an LCD.
Barney: Oh, I'll take the CRT.
[later, Barney smashes the TV in the alley behind MacLaren's]
Quote from Barney
Marshall: Nobody likes to read a magazine at work and if they say that they do, then they're not human.
Barney: Dude, I read a magazine at work every day. I can't tell you how many meetings I've been late to because I was busy "reading a magazine." But I don't feel bad about it. That's my time. Sure, "reading a magazine" ain't pretty, but, you know, it's something I gotta do. So why be ashamed about it? Wait, "reading a magazine" means masturbating, right?