Robin Quote #306
Quote from Robin in Not a Father's Day
Ted: I can't believe we lost her.
Robin: See, this is exactly why I'm never having kids. You can't let them out of your sight for even a second.
[meanwhile, in Marshall's office:]
Marshall: I can't find my file.
Lily: I pulled out "A" through "G." Ag! Aaaaggg.
[back:]
Robin: They just sit there with their stupid bottles.
[Lily is drinking a bottle of wine in Marshall's office]
Robin: They cry.
[Marshall gives Lily the bottle of wine back]
Robin: They spit up.
[Lily throws up in the trash can in Marshall's office]
Robin: And that's why kids suck.
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘Not a Father's Day’ Quotes
Quote from Barney
Marshall: Barney, they're hot.
Barney: Oh, there is so much to teach you all. You have just become victims of... The Cheerleader Effect. Glad you asked. The Cheerleader Effect is when a group of women seems hot, but only, as a group. Just like with cheerleaders. They seem hot, but take each one of them individually? Sled dogs.
Ted: That's insane.
Barney: Take a good, hard look at each one of those girls. Individually.
Marshall: I don't know. The one on the end is kind of cute.
Lily: Yeah, she really is.
Barney: Also known as the Bridesmaid Paradox, Sorority Girl Syndrome, and for a brief window in the mid-'90s, the Spice Girls Conspiracy. Scary Spice indeed.
Quote from Barney
Barney: Marshall, Not a Father's Day is a hit! Laraby and Finklestein are helping me celebrate. Check it. "World's Greatest Not A Dad" mugs. There's, uh... ha! "Who's Not Your Daddy?" Tee-shirts. Both available at NotAFathers Day.Com. Oh, check out the greeting cards.
Marshall: "For everything you do for yourself, For all the scotch upon your shelf, Your Porsche Carrera rules the freeway, Here's wishing you an all night three-way. Happy Not a Father's Day."
Barney: Check out the illustration. No.
Marshall: Oh, it appears to be some sort of Asian hooker.
Barney: Yes. Because on Not a Father's Day, you get a Thai you'd actually wear. Wordplay five!
Quote from Barney
Ted: What do you mean you're gonna be a dad? How did, how did this happen?
Barney: It was just some girl I hooked up with a few weeks back. She's not sure. She's gonna go to the doctor in the morning.
Lily: Maybe it's a false alarm. Maybe she's not pregnant.
Barney: Lily, no part of Barney Stinson does anything less than 110%. If one of my little Michael Phelpses got loose, he's swimming for the gold.