Barney Quote #763

Quote from Barney in Not a Father's Day

Barney: Marshall, Not a Father's Day is a hit! Laraby and Finklestein are helping me celebrate. Check it. "World's Greatest Not A Dad" mugs. There's, uh... ha! "Who's Not Your Daddy?" Tee-shirts. Both available at NotAFathers Day.Com. Oh, check out the greeting cards.
Marshall: "For everything you do for yourself, For all the scotch upon your shelf, Your Porsche Carrera rules the freeway, Here's wishing you an all night three-way. Happy Not a Father's Day."
Barney: Check out the illustration. No.
Marshall: Oh, it appears to be some sort of Asian hooker.
Barney: Yes. Because on Not a Father's Day, you get a Thai you'd actually wear. Wordplay five!


 ‘Not a Father's Day’ Quotes

Quote from Barney

Marshall: Barney, they're hot.
Barney: Oh, there is so much to teach you all. You have just become victims of... The Cheerleader Effect. Glad you asked. The Cheerleader Effect is when a group of women seems hot, but only, as a group. Just like with cheerleaders. They seem hot, but take each one of them individually? Sled dogs.
Ted: That's insane.
Barney: Take a good, hard look at each one of those girls. Individually.
Marshall: I don't know. The one on the end is kind of cute.
Lily: Yeah, she really is.
Barney: Also known as the Bridesmaid Paradox, Sorority Girl Syndrome, and for a brief window in the mid-'90s, the Spice Girls Conspiracy. Scary Spice indeed.

Quote from Barney

Barney: Marshall, great news! I'm not a father!
Marshall: Congratulations, buddy.
Barney: This is the happiest moment of my life, Marshall. The way I feel about not having kids? I never knew I could love something this much. That's why I'm creating a holiday. From now on, today will be known as "Not a Father's Day."
Marshall: You're creating a holiday?
Barney: Yeah, why not? Everyone else gets a day: Mothers, Fathers, Bastilles. Why can't there be a day for people who are single and like it that way?
Marshall: Well, now you just sound like the chubby girl on Valentine's Day.

Quote from Barney

Ted: What do you mean you're gonna be a dad? How did, how did this happen?
Barney: It was just some girl I hooked up with a few weeks back. She's not sure. She's gonna go to the doctor in the morning.
Lily: Maybe it's a false alarm. Maybe she's not pregnant.
Barney: Lily, no part of Barney Stinson does anything less than 110%. If one of my little Michael Phelpses got loose, he's swimming for the gold.