Barney Quote #549
Rhonda: Yeah, well, I tell you what. Sleeping with me again isn't gonna solve anything.
Barney: I don't know what else is.
Rhonda: I think I know.
[later, Barney and Rhonda plays cards as they did when he was younger:]
Barney: Do you have any kings?
Rhonda: No, go fish. See, Barney, isn't it nice to just sit and have a evening with a woman, no agenda? Just make nice conversation?
Barney: No.
Rhonda: Yeah, kinda sucks, doesn't it?
[later:]
Rhonda: Oh, my God, Barney, you really did just rock my world. That was amazing. And I'm not lying.
Barney: I know you're not lying, baby.
Rhonda: And it was good for you?
Barney: It was the best sex I've ever had. [yawns] Later. Daddy's back.
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘The Yips’ Quotes
Quote from Barney
[cut Barney and Ted at the gym:]
Barney: There goes one of my investments now. Cheryl, hard work's paying off. Keep up the good work.
Ted: So your investments... are women?
Barney: Women who, how shall I put this delicately? They fat. So, I come here, give them lots of attention now. Then when they get hot, who's the first guy they run to? The one who invested in them when they weren't.
Ted: Wow, I can't decide if I'm thoroughly disgusted or really, really impressed.
Barney: Of course, not all investments pay dividends. See the girl over there at the vending machine, Tonya. She is one Kit Kat away from junk bond status.
Becky: Hey, Barney.
Barney: Becky, elliptical machine's really working for you. Nice stuff. [to Ted] That one's going to reward shareholders soon. I foresee aggressive growth in my future. What up?
Quote from Barney
[flashback to 23-year-old Barney talking to his brother James, who is wearing a beer helmet and a football shirt:]
Barney: Of course. The Man Maker. And it'll be easier too, 'cause she knows me so well.
[later, Barney goes to Rhonda's house:]
Rhonda: Hi, Barry.
Barney: Barney. Hi, Ms. French. I know we haven't seen each other for a while, but if there was any chance...
[later, in Rhonda's bedroom:]
Rhonda: Oh, boy. You just rocked my world. That was the best sex I ever had.
[present:]
Barney: That was the night I was born. I rose like a phoenix from her mentholated bosom and strode into the world, Armani clad and fully awesome.
Quote from Barney
Ted: I wound up shame-eating the whole pizza. I woke up all greasy and sweaty. My sheets looked like what they wrap deli sandwiches in. Maybe I should join a gym. Do you go to a gym?
Barney: Well, I go to Total Rip Fitness, but I don't work out there.
Ted: What do you do?
Barney: I invest.