How I Met Your Mother - Marshall Quote #307
Lily: Oh, what a horrible smell.
Marshall: It reeks!
Cab Driver: Oh, that's just the plant. Don't worry, they shut it down on the weekends.
Lily: Wh- What plant? What are you talking about?
Cab Driver: Don't you know? Baby, this whole neighborhood is downwind of the sewage treatment plant.
Marshall: Wait... What did you just say?
Cab Driver: I said, we're downwind of the sewage treatment plant.
[Titles: "downwind of the sewage treatment plant" -> "DOwnWInd of the SEwage TReatment PLant" -> "dowisetrepla"]
Marshall & Lily: Uh-oh.
Quote from Robin
Robin: Oh, my God, Lily, have you seen this kitchen?
Lily: I know. It's... Isn't it amazing? I love it so...
Robin: What the hell are you doing? You can't buy this place. Lily, you have a debt of the size of Mount Waddington!
Robin: It's the tallest mountain in Canada. It's like 4,000 meters high.
Quote from Barney
Future Ted: [v.o.] Kids, everybody make mistakes. Take this girl Meg for instance. She made a mistake, a mistake named Barney.
Meg: Yeah I thought I was gonna get married to my last boyfriend but, boy, did that guy have commitment issues! That whole relationships, that 3 weeks of my life I'll never get back.
Barney: Well, I love commitment. I wish I could marry commitment.
Quote from Marshall
Marshall: Guys, it's 3:00 in the morning and it reeks in here.
Robin: Ted said it was okay.
Ted: Ah, hey, Marshall. You're still up? Aren't you taking the bar tomorrow?
Future Ted: [v.o.] Discontent was bubbling under this surface, until one day...
[Marshall leaves the kitchen and walks over to Ted on the couch]
Marshall: Ted! How many times have I asked you to put the lid back on the peanut butter jar? It's this sort of inconsiderate, immature jackassery that makes me feel like i'm living in the Real World house, and not the early years when they all had jobs and social consciences. I'm talking about Hawaii and after! I can't take this anymore! Ted, Lily and I are married now! It's time! We're getting our own place!
Lily: Actually, I left the lid open. Sorry baby.
Quote from The Final Page (Part 2)
Marshall: Oh, I forgot the lullaby. Do you know Marvin's lullaby? We sing it to him every night.
[flashback to Marshall playing guitar and singing to Marvin with Lily adding percussion:]
Marshall: Night, night, little Marvin Stars twinkle for you [Lily plays chimes] The Dreamland train's a-chuggin' [Lily blows train whistle] All your dreams will come true And the horsie says, "Good night" [Lily plays wood scraper block] And the birdie says, "Good night" [Lily blows bird whistle] And the elephant says, "Good night" [Lily plays tuba] And the skeleton playing his own rib cage Says, "Good Night" [Lily plays xylophone] And the robot says, "Good night"
Lily: [uses a voice-changing megaphone] Good night.
Man: [o.s.] Enough with the damn music!
Marshall: [singing] And Mr. Nesbit says, "Good night" And the whole world says, "Good night" Take it, Mommy.
[Lily plays the violin]
Quote from Bagpipes
Barney: Hey, tiger. How you holding up? Do you need a hug? You want to talk about yesterday? Safe space.
Ted: Barney thinks Lily asking you to wash your dishes right away is a sign your marriage is crumbling.
Marshall: What? Why? Lily likes a clean sink, so I do the dishes right away, what's the big deal?
Barney: I'll tell you what the big deal is. You know how I was always the best at being single?
Barney: Well, now I am the best at relationships. Even better than you and Lily.
Marshall: Aw. Look at you. Had a girlfriend for five minutes, you think you can play with the big boys, adorable. Son, I've been in a relationship since you had a ponytail and were playing Dave Matthews on your mama's Casio. I'm a good boyfriend in my sleep. I can rock a killer foot rub with one hand and brew a kick-ass pot of chamomile in the other that would make you weep. Hell, I've forgotten more about microwaving fat-free popcorn and watching Sandra Bullock movies than you'll ever know, but thanks for your concern, rook.
Quote from We're Not From Here
Future Ted: [v.o.] That night, Marshall, sat down to write the letter he hoped Lily would never have to read.
Marshall: [v.o.] "My dearest, sweetest, Lilypad. Let this letter be a small beacon, a tiny firefly to help light your way trough the years ahead. My love for you persists, higher than the Himalayas, deeper than a Scottish loch. [sobbing] If I died under suspicious circumstances then beware. Trust no one, not even Ted. Especially not Ted. Know that I'll always be there in your heart, whenever you need me. [sobbing] And my love for you will never die. Love. [sobbing] Your Marshmallow."