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42Quotes from ‘Dowisetrepla’

How I Met Your Mother: Dowisetrepla

307. Dowisetrepla

Aired November 5, 2007

After Marshall and Lily decide to get a place of their own in an up-and-coming area of New York, Lily worries that Marshall will learn about her mountain of credit card debt. Meanwhile, Barney uses the apartment to hook up with a woman.

Quote from Marshall

Lily: Oh, what a horrible smell.
Marshall: It reeks!
Cab Driver: Oh, that's just the plant. Don't worry, they shut it down on the weekends.
Lily: Wh- What plant? What are you talking about?
Cab Driver: Don't you know? Baby, this whole neighborhood is downwind of the sewage treatment plant.
Marshall: Wait... What did you just say?
Cab Driver: I said, we're downwind of the sewage treatment plant.
[Titles: "downwind of the sewage treatment plant" -> "DOwnWInd of the SEwage TReatment PLant" -> "dowisetrepla"]
Marshall & Lily: Uh-oh.

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Quote from Robin

Robin: Oh, my God, Lily, have you seen this kitchen?
Lily: I know. It's... Isn't it amazing? I love it so...
Robin: What the hell are you doing? You can't buy this place. Lily, you have a debt of the size of Mount Waddington!
Lily: Waddington?
Robin: It's the tallest mountain in Canada. It's like 4,000 meters high.
Lily: Meters?

Quote from Barney

Future Ted: [v.o.] Kids, everybody make mistakes. Take this girl Meg for instance. She made a mistake, a mistake named Barney.
Meg: Yeah I thought I was gonna get married to my last boyfriend but, boy, did that guy have commitment issues! That whole relationships, that 3 weeks of my life I'll never get back.
Barney: Well, I love commitment. I wish I could marry commitment.

Quote from Marshall

Marshall: Guys, it's 3:00 in the morning and it reeks in here.
Robin: Ted said it was okay.
Ted: Ah, hey, Marshall. You're still up? Aren't you taking the bar tomorrow?
Future Ted: [v.o.] Discontent was bubbling under this surface, until one day...
[Marshall leaves the kitchen and walks over to Ted on the couch]
Marshall: Ted! How many times have I asked you to put the lid back on the peanut butter jar? It's this sort of inconsiderate, immature jackassery that makes me feel like i'm living in the Real World house, and not the early years when they all had jobs and social consciences. I'm talking about Hawaii and after! I can't take this anymore! Ted, Lily and I are married now! It's time! We're getting our own place!
Lily: Actually, I left the lid open. Sorry baby.

Quote from Future Ted

Future Ted: [v.o.] But still, it was time to move forward. So they set out to find a new apartment to rent.
Marshall: Hey, here's one. Private building, recently renovated, hardwood floors, tons of light, two bedroom, 2 bath.
Lily: Oh yeah, but that one's not for rent. It's for sale.
Marshall: Oh, right!
Narrator: Kids, your Uncle Marshall likes to say that he made 3 big mistakes in his life. This was the first...
[Marshall as a kid, jumping from his roof with cardboard wings and ballons]
Future Ted: This was the second...
[Marshall shaves his head just before his weeding to Lily]
Future Ted: And this was the third and biggest.
Marshall: We should buy a place!
Lily: What?
Marshall: Baby, real estate is always a good investment!
Future Ted: It's not!
Marshall: And the market is really hot right now.
Future Ted: It wasn't.
Marshall: And because of my new job, we are in such a strong place financially.
Future Ted: They weren't. 'Cause Lily had a secret.

Quote from Lily

[flashback to Lily and Robin at a shopaholic support group:]
Lily: Hi, my name is Lily and I'm a shopaholic.
Robin: Hi, Lily. Oh, you guys don't do that here? Sorry. [to Lily] Proceed.
Lily: I buy designer clothes and accessories that I can't afford. I have 15 credit cards and they're all maxed out. And no one outside of this room, not even my husband, knows. And I feel terrible because all I want to do right now is ask you, where you got those shoes? They're adorable.

Quote from Marshall

Marshall: Let's just go take a look at this place.
Lily: Where is it?
Marshall: Uh, it's in a neighborhood called... Dowisetrepla?

Quote from Marshall

Realtor: Dowisetrepla. Oh, I see, you're not New Yorkers.
Marshall: Oh, actually we live on the Upper West side, so...
Realtor: No need to be embarrassed. Listen, here in New York we just shorten the names of all the neighborhood: Soho, Tribeca, Nolita.
Lily: Oh, right. Dowisetrepla! No, I'm from New York. I know this neighborhood. I'm down in the D-town.
Realtor: Oh, well, nobody calls it D-town. Dowistrepla is the up-and-coming neighborhood. And I have to tell you, for these prices you're not going to be able to find an other...
Marshall: I'm- I'm gonna stop you right there. Don't bother with the hard sell. This place is, is way out of our price range, and besides, we've only just started to looking.
Future Ted: [v.o.] Is what Marshall should have said. [rewind]
Marshall: I'm gonna stop you right there. I love it. Let's get it!

Quote from Marshall

Marshall: Thank you guys for coming down here so quickly.
Ted: I've never been to this neighborhood. Kind of thought this part of town was water.
Marshall: No. Dude, this is dowisetrepla.
Ted: Dowisetrepla?
Marshall: Yeah!
Ted: Is that an abbreviation for something?
Marshall: Pfft. [to the realtor] He's from Ohio. [to Ted] Dowisetrepla is the up-and-coming neighborhood.

Quote from Lily

Robin: Don't let Marshall fall in love with this apartment.
Lily: I know, I know, I know, I know! But what do I tell him?
Robin: I- I don't know, tell him, tell him you saw a ghost. Tell him it's haunted.
Lily: You really don't know Marshall at all.

Quote from Barney

Barney: So, uh, the owners, where are they?
Realtor: Oh, they're on vacation in France for 2 weeks.
Barney: I see. Between you and me, i'm also interested in this apartment. So is there any way I could come back later and check it out while you're showing them other places?
Realtor: The lock-box combination is 14-21, and here is my card.
Ted: Are you serious? You're trying to sneak this apartment away from Marshall and Lily?
Barney: Ted, do you think I have no morals whatsoever? I simply want to fool a girl into thinking this is my apartment so I can nail her once and never have to see her again. I'm not a monster!

Quote from Lily

Lily: Marshall, I just... I don't know if now is the right time to buy.
Marshall: But we're not doing this for now, we're doing this for our future. Can't you imagine starting a family here?
[fantasy scene: Lily paints with her two red-headed daughters]
Lily: Oh, Persephone! Oh, Daphne! These'll be perfect additions to our upcoming mother-daughter exhibit at the Met.
[A turtle-neck wearing Marshall brings them crepes while carrying a cat]
Marshall: Looks great girls. Who wants crapes au chocolat?
Girls: Merci papa.

Quote from Marshall

Marshall: I think this right the place where lily and i start a family, I can see it now.
[fantasy scene: Marshall playing drums with his three blonde-haired boys:]
Marshall: All right, bring it home, boys!
[Lily comes in with chocolate pancakes and a baby in her hands]
Lily: Sounds great boys! Who wants chocolate pancakes?
Marshall: Thanks mommy!

Quote from Barney

Future Ted: [v.o.] Now if you are thinking about buying an apartment, it's always good to check the place out at night.
Barney: Welcome to my humble abode.
Woman: This place is so nice.
Barney: Ah, make yourself at home. Please get comfortable. If you see something you like, just take it.
Woman: [holding a picture] Who are these people?
Barney: Uh... That's my parents.
Woman: They're Asian.
Barney: Yeah, they're a Chinese couple that wanted a white baby, it works both ways.

Quote from Ted

Ted: Whoa.
Robin: What?
Ted: There was a fight here.
Robin: What do you mean?
Ted: Whenever Marshall and Lily have a big argument, they always leave a trail of evidence all over the apartment.
Robin: Oh, God here we go. He had a detective club as a kid.

Quote from Ted

Ted: Uh, The Mosby Boys cracked a lot of big cases.
Robin: The Mosby boys? You mean you and your sister.
Ted: We solved the mystery of the missing retainer.
Robin: Let me guess, it was in the garbage.
Ted: Why are you like this?

Quote from Ted

Ted: Anyway, this is serious. I know Lily and Marshall. All the tell tale signs are here. Like this
Robin: A water bottle.
Barney: Don't touch the evidence. [to Ted] I got your back partner.
Ted: It's not just any water bottle. Notice the label is peeled off.
Ted: [v.o.] Lily always peels labels off the bottle when she's feeling guilty. This lab is not only peel off but torn up. Oh man, she must have done something bad. Which means Marshall must have been really angry, and when Marshall gets realy angry, he eats.

Quote from Ted

[Ted picks up a Ben and Jerry's ice cream container from the kitchen floor:]
Ted: Just as i suspected, Cherry Garcia. Given the liquid consistency, I place the fight between... [licks finger] noon and 1.
Robin: Ew, that was on the floor.
Barney: If you want to get to the bottom of this, you're gonna need a stronger stomach than that, doll face.
Ted: Marshall stood here. Eating and yelling, yelling and eating. Lily stood here. Crying. [Ted lifts a tissue from the counter]
Robin: Ew, Ted!

Quote from Ted

Ted: And then Marshall tried to storm out, but Lily went for the Hail Mary Pass. Which would mean... [Ted finds a bra under a pillow on the sofa].
Barney: What do you think, make-up sex?
Ted: No, there'd be a bigger mess. Tempted as he was, Marshall was still too upset. [v.o.] He had to get out of here, any way he could. He choose the door slamming it behind him.
Robin: Which Is why this picture is crooked.
Ted: Nice catch, Robin.
Barney: I'll just, uh, take this down to the lab. [Barney grabs the bra, but Robin snatches it away from him]
Ted: Now all we need is a motive. The million dollar question what were they fighting about?
Robin: I know what they've been fighting...
Ted: Bup, bup, bup, bup... There's only one possible conclusion. Lily and Marshall are fighting about peanut butter.
Barney: Ah!
Ted: Lily left the lid off... [Ted put dark sunglasses] and Marshall blew his.

Quote from Robin

Robin: I know what they were fighting about, and it wasn't peanut butter.
Barney: Robin, just...
Ted: I appreciate your help, but there's a reason your name is Robin, not Batman.
Barney: Just...
Robin: They were fighting because they didn't get the loan and it's all Lily's fault.
Barney: Robin, just...
Ted: What?
Robin: Yeah, she has a pile of debt the size of Mount... Rushmore.


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