Barney: So he stays home all the time not getting laid? No, see, that's what you do when you have a fiancée. He should be down here celebrating. He's free. He got that red-head-tumor removed.
Ted: You should write and illustrate children's books.
Barney: You know what Marshall needs to do? He needs to stop being sad. When I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True story.

Marshall: Barney, I really don't think this is gonna help.
Barney: Do you know why you're not over Lily yet? It's 'cause you can still picture her naked. You can't get over a woman until you can no longer picture her boobs. It's a scientific fact. The average male brain can only store a finite number of boob images, or BPEGs and your hard drive's filled to capacity with Lily's.
Marshall: There are a lot of them.
Barney: They won't go away until you overwrite them with images of other women's boobs. Now, this journey may take as many as a million boobs so we begin here tonight my friend. Two at the time. Those count as four.

Barney: I didn't get your message until I woke up. Bro, I am so sorry.
Marshall: Thanks.
Barney: I know it must be tough. But are you ready to hear something that will not only make you feel better, but will actively excite you?
Marshall: Sure.
Barney: For the first time ever, the three of us are single at the same time. I've dreamed about this day, boys, and it's going to be legendary! Together, we will own this city. Any time, a girl wants to get back at her ex-boyfriend, we'll be there. Anytime a girl wants to solve her father issues through promiscuity and binge-drinking, we will be there. Anytime a bachelorette party drives through the city in a limo sticking their heads out the sunroof, shouting "What's up New York?", we will be what is up New York! Gentlemen, we are about to embark on... [Barney looks at Robin, then Ted] Oh man, you guys did it, didn't you?!