Barney Quote #1975
Quote from Barney in The Lighthouse
Loretta: Robin can't have kids? But you always wanted children.
Barney: No, I always liked children. I've always wanted a Lamborghini where there's a hot tub inside. God, I wish that existed.
Loretta: So no grandkids. How long have you known about this?
Barney: I found out last fall.
[flashback:]
Barney: [v.o.] Robin and I had been hanging out downtown at this very cool secret bar.
[Barney and Robin emerge from a covering in the sidewalk]
Barney: What a lovely place! Have you ever had sushi that fresh?
Robin: Okay, I am never getting on a mechanical bull again.
Barney: I can't believe Marshall and Lily missed out. Promise me, if you ever have kids, you'll sometimes get a babysitter and come have an epic night. Oh, and, P.S., bring the babysitter, she sounds dirty.
Robin: Actually, I, uh, I can't have kids, so that's not an issue.
Barney: Really?
Robin: Yeah.
[Barney hugs Robin]
Barney: Is it weird that I'm hugging you like this?
Robin: No, it's not weird. [rain pours] Now it's weird.
Barney: Yep, the rain makes it weird.
[present:]
Barney: Mom, I'm not marrying some future possibility of starting a family. I'm marrying a girl... who means more to me than kids. Or my career. Or even the Lambor-cuzzi, patent pending. So please, be nice to her?
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘The Lighthouse’ Quotes
Quote from Ted
Ted: I'm starting to think a person gets a certain allotment of lighthouses per lifetime. And I've used all mine up.
Future Ted: [v.o.] And that, kids, is the kind of stupid thing you say before you've met the person who hits the reset button on the world, who makes everything new again, who makes it seem ridiculous that you ever considered settling, because not two years later...
[flashforward:]
Ted: Look at that.
The Mother: It's like traveling back in time.
Ted: That is exactly what I said. Why couldn't it have been you here with me two years ago?
The Mother: That's probably for the best. When you vomit, I vomit. You know that.
Ted: Well, thanks for being here with me now.
The Mother: Thanks for bringing me. Wow. It is just bonkers beautiful here. I don't know how you could improve on a day like this.
Ted: Well, I'm gonna try. [gets down on one knee]
The Mother: Whoa.
Ted: Will you...
The Mother: Yes.
Ted: You didn't even let me...
The Mother: Yes.
Ted: Marry me?
The Mother: Yes, yes, yes, yes. Yes, yes... yes.
Quote from Lily
Future Ted: [v.o.] Now, late the night before, thanks to Marshall's travel companion, Daphne, Lily had received some unsettling news. Screwing up their whole plan to move to Italy. She wasn't happy.
Lily: Yes, I'm in a rotten mood. No, I don't want to talk about it. Yes, this has booze in it. No, it's not my first.
Barney: You want to make this brunch a drunch? You do you, I'm not gonna judge.
[flashback:]
Marshall: I'm gonna be a judge.
[present:]
Lily: Judge. [smashes glass, which is quickly replaced] Thank you, Linus.
Quote from Barney
Loretta: Pancakes and eggs, Robin? I guess that blouse won't be loose and flowy for long.
Barney: Mom.
Robin: Keep talking, Loretta. I've been waiting all morning to ketchup. Oops.
Loretta: You're not supposed to put ketchup on scrambled eggs.
Robin: Right, Loretta, because you're the queen of scrambled eggs.
Barney: Actually, that's exactly what she is. When Mom was a groupie in the '70s, her scrambled eggs made her the darling of the MSG loading dock. Lot of songs written about those scrambled eggs. ZZ Top's "She's Got Legs"? Originally "She's Got Eggs." Led Zeppelin? "Scramble On." Steve Miller? "The Yolker." If you listen to Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon while eating her eggs, it lines up perfectly.