Ted Quote #1257
Ted: I cannot believe you guys!
Barney: Well, maybe if you had given us a warning that she was crazy!
Marshall: Dude, it's okay. She can't stay in there forever. She'll have to come out to eat and drink and go to the bathroom, right?
Future Ted: [v.o.] Now, a few months earlier, the East Coast had been hit by a bad storm, and some intelligent, forward-thinking New Yorkers took it as a wake-up call, making sure to stock their bedrooms with enough food and water to last months, not to mention a portable waste management system. It was really the smart thing to do.
Marshall: You dumbass!
Barney: Really, Ted. How could you be so unbelievably stupid?
Ted: No, no, you guys are the ones who invited a vampire into my apartment! This is your fault! And P.S., if this disaster had been a superstorm instead of a hot lunatic, you'd all be begging to eat my freeze-dried protein paste and crap in my biohazard bucket. Just sayin'.
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘Bad Crazy’ Quotes
Quote from Barney
Ted: Okay, fine. I admit it. She's crazy. Obviously. But I'm not in this for the long haul. It's just, you know, it's just fun.
Barney: Of course it's fun, at first. But then when she starts calling out the name of her high school science teacher in the throes of passion, it's really fun. But then when she starts bringing knives into bed and making you fear for your safety? It's really, really fun. But then when she starts unbuttoning your pants while you're being forced to drive blindfolded down the freeway with a gun pointed at your... I'm sorry, what were we talking about?
Ted: Jeanette.
Barney: Oh, right. That girl's crazy. You gotta break up with her.
Quote from Ted
Marshall: Wait a second. [Boston accent] Is she a cop?
Ted: [Boston accent] I think she's a cop!
Marshall: Did you know she was a cop?
Ted: I didn't know she was a cop!
Quote from Future Ted
Future Ted: Kids, early in this story, you may recall me saying something along the lines of...
Ted: Okay, no more dating. I am ready to settle down.
Future Ted: And at the time, I probably thought I meant it. But, kids, I'll be honest. Being single's fun. As a young unattached man in New York City, I had a great time. A great time. What was I saying? Oh, yeah. I had such a great time that it took someone very special to make me want to settle down. And that someone... was Jeanette. What made Jeanette so special? Well...
Jeanette: That was a foul! [throws bottle at the TV]
Future Ted: Jeanette was the last girl I dated before I met your mother. The girl who finally got me to say...
Ted: No more dating. I'm ready to settle down.
Future Ted: And really mean it.