Ted Quote #902
Quote from Ted in Natural History
Zoey: I got married when I was 22 to a man who calls himself The Captain.
Ted: He seems like a good guy. He wears those red pants.
Zoey: I hate boats, Ted. I do, I hate 'em. I can't be on them. I can't be near them. I can't even think about them without getting seasick. You want to know why I want to save that building? Because when I look up at The Arcadian, I see something big and solid, and right now everything else in my life just feels like I'm on a boat. I know it's crazy to care that much about a building.
Ted: It's not crazy at all. I'm the same way. Look, Zoey, The Arcadian should be a landmark, it should. The lion head stonework is iconic. I hate that we have to tear it down. I hate working for GNB. They're a bunch of wieners and gonads.
Zoey: Ted, that was... Really easy.
Ted: What? [Zoey plays back her recorder:] "They're a bunch of wieners and gonads."
Zoey: This should be useful.
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘Natural History’ Quotes
Quote from Ted
Ted: Guys, guys, guys? Architecture fun fact: If you stand right here, and you whisper, a person all the way across the other end of the room hears it like you're standing right next to them. It's one of the most sophisticated pieces of acoustical design in the world. Watch. [whispering] Diarrhea. Right? Right?
Quote from Future Ted
Ted: I can't believe this. She singles me out by name. Calls me a "fat cat." Me and my "fat-cat friends." We're not fat cats.
Barney: Exactly. I say, Marshall, my good man, how's my bow tie?
Marshall: Impeccable, old bean. To industry!
Barney: Ah, bully!
Future Ted: [v.o.] Okay, that night we weren't the skinniest of felines.
Quote from Barney
Lily: Ooh! I love this exhibit. One time when I was a kid, this room was closed for cleaning, so I snuck under the rope.
All: Ooh.
Barney: Wow, that's pretty cool. When I was a kid, I knocked down the blue whale.
Marshall: Okay, the giant blue whale hanging from the ceiling?
Barney: I was six. My uncle Jerry brought me here for the day. He said, "Don't touch anything." To a kid. That's like someone telling us, "Don't look at that girl's perky and impossibly symmetrical knockers."
Robin: Not bad.
Barney: So, naturally, I snapped the rib off a triceratops, blahbity-blahbity-blue, I knocked down the whale. I'm surprised security didn't stop me on the way in.
Robin: Well, I'm sure they don't remember. I mean, it's been like 30 years since that completely made-up story didn't happen.
Barney: It happened. And these people don't forget. This is not the Natural Stuff That Happened No More Than Five Minutes Ago Museum.