Barney Quote #705
Lily: I mean, for the last time, you can't... You can't be in love with Robin and still be sleeping with every bimbo on the planet. You have to choose right now.
Barney: I choose bimbos.
Barney: Bimbos make me happy. Bimbos make me feel alive. Bimbos make me want to pretend to be a better man. This whole thing with Robin was just a fling, but at the end of the day, my heart belongs to bimbos.
Lily: This is just a defense mechanism, because you're afraid of getting hurt. You're just confused.
Barney: Oh, I'm not confused. You know who is confused? Bimbos. They're easily confused. It's one of the thousand little things I love about them. I love their vacant, trusting stares, their sluggish, unencumbered minds, their unresolved daddy issues. I love them and they love me. Bimbos have always been there for me, through thick and thin. Mostly thin. B- man don't do thick crust. What up?
Lily: See you, Barney.
[After Lily leaves the apartment, Barney turns on the TV and sees Robin on the news. Barney smiles and then turns it off.]
Quote from Barney
Lily: Barney, I don't get it. You've called a million girls a million times.
Barney: Yeah, but those were just booty calls.
Barney: On a booty call, you rarely have to even talk.
[flashback to Barney at MacLaren's:]
Barney: [v.o.] Around 9:00 p.m., you say...
Barney: [on the phone] Hey, baby, it's Barney. You busy tonight? Sweet. See you in half an hour? Can't wait.
Barney: [v.o.] But the later it gets, the fewer words you need.
Barney: [on the phone] Barney. Busy? Sweet.
Barney: [v.o.] And by 3:00 in the morning...
[Barney texts a woman "?". She responds "!"]
Lily: A question mark? You got laid off a question mark?
Quote from Marshall
Ted: First movie you ever saw.
Stella: Benji, 1981. I watched it recently with Lucy and I just thought, "Oh, that dog is so dead right now." What about you?
Ted: My dad took me to an old drive-in to see the original Star Wars.
Stella: You know, I've actually never seen Star Wars.
[cut to Marshall and Ted at MacLaren's:]
Marshall: She's never seen Star Wars?! Ted, the only people in the universe who haven't seen Star Wars are the characters, and that's 'cause they lived them. That's 'cause they lived the Star Wars.
Quote from Barney
Lily: Barney, you're going to have to stop screwing around if you want to be Robin's boyfriend.
Barney: Whoa, whoa, whoa. "Boyfriend"? I don't want to be Robin's boyfriend.
Lily: Well, what do you want, then?
Barney: I don't know. I just want to be with her. All the time. I want to hear about her day and tell her about mine. I want to hold her hand and smell her hair. [scoffs] But I don't want to be her stupid boyfriend.
Lily: Barney, what you just described is a relationship between a boyfriend and a girlfriend. And a pretty clingy one at that.