[title: "Barney Stinson: Player King of New York City"]
Ted: You can't anoint yourself the king, just like that jerk, LeBron.
Barney: He left the Cavs three years ago. Bro, give it up, move on. So why am I king? Glad you asked.
Marshall: We didn't.
Robin: Never do.
Barney: It's origin story time. And trust me, every word is true.
Barney: [v.o.] One morning long ago, I woke up next to a conquest. So many great things 'bout this girl: her boobs, her rack, her chest. She had a thirst for action, and young Barney was a-quenchin' it.
Marshall: Is this important to the story?
Barney: No, just thought I'd mention it.