Jerry: Barney, what is going on?
Barney: This is mine.
Jerry: I don't understand.
Barney: J.J. gets a childhood, a dad, a real family and a basketball hoop? No. No. I at least get the hoop. I'm taking it with me.
Jerry: Please, please. Just come down and talk to me.
Barney: Why? Why should I? You're lame, okay? You're just some lame suburban dad.
Jerry: Why does that make you so mad?
Barney: Because if you were gonna be some lame suburban dad, why couldn't you have been that for me?