Ted: Look, I know it never works for anyone, but... do you want to try long distance?
Victoria: Yes. Yes!
Ted: We can beat the odds.
Victoria: Odds, schmodds.
Ted: It's gonna work. We're going to make it work. It'll work.
Future Ted: [v.o.] It didn't work. Long-distance was and is a terrible idea, a really terrible idea, just awful. But more on that later.