Don: What you doing?
Robin: If you must know, I am reaching out to City Hall to try to get the mayor on our show.
Don: Oh, my goodness, you are adorable, but the mayor's not coming on a show nobody watches. My colonoscopy had more viewers than this show. At least that had some twists and turns.
Robin: Okay, you know, I don't know why you're acting like this. I mean, maybe you're just bitter because you never had a shot at a network job, but I think I still do, so I really need to focus.
Don: I've been on a network.
[The director drops his coffee mug in shock:]
Robin: You were on a network?
Don: It was the best Labor Day weekend of my life. When you do the news, you're in these ergonomic chairs. It feels like you're sitting on a cloud. Which was nice 'cause it was right after my colonoscopy. And the dressing rooms... Oh.
Director: There's dressing rooms?
Don: Oh, you bet your sweet headset there's dressing rooms, Mike. No changing in the KFC bathroom across the street. No, sir. It was heaven. But the second you get used to it, they go find someone who isn't "going through a bitter divorce" and doesn't "reek of gin," and before you know it, you're stuck in a dead-end gig, surrounded by people going nowhere, doing the news in your tighty whities.
Robin: Okay, the underwear thing was your choice, and I don't like that it's catching on.