Tim Quote #3349
Quote from Tim in Home Alone
Tim: Hey, Wilson. You're up late. What are you doing on the old Studebaker? Changing the oil? Flushing the radiator? What?
Wilson: I'm just changing my oil. Then I'm gonna wash my windshields.
Tim: All right! What do you say we pop in a new motor and rebuild the transmission? Gum?
Wilson: Well, no, thank you. My goodness, you're awfully peppy for this time of night.
Tim: Mmm. Peppy, peppy, peppy. Do you think peppy's just a male trait? Or is it a universal trait for all people, all times, huh? Want some gum?
Wilson: No, thank you, Tim. And if I might suggest it, you seem to be three sticks to the wind.
Tim: No. No sticks. No wind. No nothing. I've just been drinking a lot of coffee. Lot of coffee. A lot of caffeine. Lot of coffee. You see, I just got about 36 hours to finish three chapters of my book.
Wilson: Tim, Tim, Tim, Tim, take a breath.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Home Alone’ Quotes
Quote from Wilson
Wilson: You know, Tim, I'm reminded of the playwright George Bernard Shaw. He said, "The man who writes about himself in his own time is the only man who writes about all people and about all time."
Tim: Nice car. What were you just saying?
Wilson: Well, I'm just saying that it's a daunting task to write about all men, because no two men are exactly the same. You might be more successful writing about one man.
Tim: Like that famous guy Seymour Butts!
Wilson: Why do I even try?
Tim: I know what you're saying. I should just write about me, Tim "The Tool Man."
Wilson: Exactly.
Quote from Tim
Tim: So in the spirit of international brotherhood, we have invited the president of a major Japanese corporation to be our guest, to show us some of their newest inventions. Let's give a warm Tool Time welcome to Nobo Nakamura. Welcome to Tool Time. Or as they say in Japanese... [speaks Japanese]
Nobo: You just invited me to frolic in your trousers.
Tim: Well, in this light you're kind of an attractive man. [laughs]
Al: All right, Nobo. Why don't you show us what's new in Japanese high tech?
Nobo: I would be happy to, Al. Behold the future!
Tim: Um... Well, it appears to be a steel rod with a hand on it.
Nobo: It's called The Lazy Grabber. You can pick up stuff without having to leave your chair.
Tim: Well, I was under the impression that Nakamura Industries was involved in lasers and high-tech stuff like that.
Nobo: Someone on your staff called Nakamura Novelties. [Tim extends the hand and touches Al's face] We specialize in things like the Noodle Guard. Protection from embarrassing noodle backsplash. Mmm.
Tim: Well, that's bound to turn that Japanese economy right around, huh?
Quote from Tim
Nobo: Now I'll show you something really state of the art. I will demonstrate on Al. This is the all-day tissue dispenser.
Al: For the guy on the go who has to go.
Tim: That's just a crappy invention.
Nobo: You calling my number-one seller crappy?
Tim: Wouldn't that be your number-two seller?
Nobo: Nobo is not laughing.
Tim: Oh, boy, Nobo. I'll bite. What the heck is this?
Nobo: This is called the Grin Grabber. Simply put on your face like this and then with one tug of the string, even grouchiest guy turns into Happy Harry.
Tim: That is the stupidest thing I've ever seen.
Nobo: Okay, now you make Nobo mad.
Tim: And yet you're smiling.