Jill Quote #890
Quote from Jill in Thanksgiving
Tim: Hey, I'm sorry I wrecked your Thanksgiving, OK.
Jill: No! Are you kidding? It was great. It was the best Thanksgiving ever. We got to hang out with Rodney Dangerfield. [imitating Rodney] It was wild. It was like my neighborhood. You know, my neighborhood was so wild, when the kids played hopscotch they used real scotch.
Tim: You know, trying to cheer me up is getting kind of pathetic here, OK?
Rodney Dangerfield: [enters] Hey, Jill, I forgot to give you my phone number in L.A., you know. If you get to L.A., bring the whole family. We'll have a barbecue, OK?
Jill: Thanks, Rodney.
Rodney Dangerfield: And you'll meet my doctor, Dr. Vinnie Boombach, you know. In fact, I saw him last week and asked him if my heart was strong enough for sex. He told me not if I join in.
Tim: Rodney Dangerfield, I'm Tim Taylor. I'm her husband.
Rodney Dangerfield: Oh, yeah. You're the knucklehead who screwed up the lights, huh? [to Jill] If you get to L.A. just bring the kids, OK? [to Tim] You take it easy. I hope I run into you. When I'm driving!
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Thanksgiving’ Quotes
Quote from Tim
Ted: These are the transformers and all the breakers. I love spending time down here.
Tim: Who wouldn't? The place is so homey.
Ted: If you like this, wait till you see our control room. That's where we operate all of the Silverdome's lights and our 2,000 toilets.
Tim: Wait a minute. Two thousand toilets? Is there a button you can press to flush them all at once?
Ted: No, but I'll bring it up at the next board meeting. You're a thinker. I like that.
Quote from Tim
Ted: Mr. Taylor? Are you ready to explore the bowels of the Silverdome?
Tim: Let me loose.
Jill: Tim, can I speak to you for a moment? He'll be right there. You cannot leave us alone with the Schmayman.
Tim: Jill, Jill, Jill. Thanksgiving is about compassion. It's about reaching out to others. It's about being there for other people. Gotta go.
Quote from Tim
Ted: Hello, Taylor family. Welcome to box 12. I'm Ted, your personal Silverdome liaison and I've got hats.
Jill: Oh, thank you. I'm Jill Taylor. And that's Randy, Mark and Brad and my husband, Tim Taylor.
Ted: Hey, it's "The Tool Man." [imitating Tim] "Oh! Oh!"
Tim: Good to meet you, Ted. Um, you look awful familiar. Have we met before?
Ted: No. Perhaps you've met one of my brothers. Ned or Fred?
Tim: Wait a minute. One brother works at the airport in Alpena. And the other brother at a gas station in the middle of nowhere. Yeah, I've met them.
Ted: Yes. I hope they didn't give you any trouble. They've always been pretty ornery. One time they held me down and packed my nose with candy corn.
Jill: Kids can be so cruel.
Ted: This was last Christmas. By the way, Tim, I've been authorized to give you a tour of the Silverdome's nerve center. Home of our state-of-the-art electrical and plumbing system.
Tim: Somebody pinch me!