Ted: Mr. Taylor? Are you ready to explore the bowels of the Silverdome?
Tim: Let me loose.
Jill: Tim, can I speak to you for a moment? He'll be right there. You cannot leave us alone with the Schmayman.
Tim: Jill, Jill, Jill. Thanksgiving is about compassion. It's about reaching out to others. It's about being there for other people. Gotta go.

Ted: Hello, Taylor family. Welcome to box 12. I'm Ted, your personal Silverdome liaison and I've got hats.
Jill: Oh, thank you. I'm Jill Taylor. And that's Randy, Mark and Brad and my husband, Tim Taylor.
Ted: Hey, it's "The Tool Man." [imitating Tim] "Oh! Oh!"
Tim: Good to meet you, Ted. Um, you look awful familiar. Have we met before?
Ted: No. Perhaps you've met one of my brothers. Ned or Fred?
Tim: Wait a minute. One brother works at the airport in Alpena. And the other brother at a gas station in the middle of nowhere. Yeah, I've met them.
Ted: Yes. I hope they didn't give you any trouble. They've always been pretty ornery. One time they held me down and packed my nose with candy corn.
Jill: Kids can be so cruel.
Ted: This was last Christmas. By the way, Tim, I've been authorized to give you a tour of the Silverdome's nerve center. Home of our state-of-the-art electrical and plumbing system.
Tim: Somebody pinch me!

Irv Schmayman: Boy, this takes me back. January, 1994, the earthquake hit and wiped out the power while Tina Turner was staying in my guest house.
Jill: So, let me guess. You went next door and borrowed a flashlight from David Bowie.
Irv Schmayman: You know, Jillsie, we Schmaymans are pretty perceptive people, and I am picking up a hint of sarcasm on my "Schmaydar."