Jill Quote #562
Quote from Jill in Talk to Me
Jill: Hi, honey, what are you doing?
Mark: Well, Dad's in the basement waiting for me to drop this tennis ball down the vent. He thinks it will knock the ring loose.
Tim: [o.s.] All right, Mark, I'm all ready.
Jill: Please, allow me.
Tim: [o.s.] Come on, let me have it. [clattering] [thud] Ow! I said a tennis ball, not a croquet ball.
Mark: It wasn't me.
Tim: [o.s.] Well, who was it?
Jill: The old hen.
Tim: Hi, henny. I mean, honey. I suppose you... Oh. I suppose you saw the show today.
Jill: You are so pathetic. Why is it that I have to drag everything out of you at home, but you're more than willing to go blab about your feelings in front of a bunch of strangers on Tool Time? [Tim puts a helmet on]
Tim: Well, because on Tool Time I can say whatever I want... and people don't hit me in the head with croquet balls. Jill! [Tim waits a moment and removes his helmet] [thud] Ow!
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Talk to Me’ Quotes
Quote from Al
Tim: Make sure the joint on your door is secure.
Al: And for that, we're using a biscuit joiner to cut the slots in our wood for the biscuits.
Tim: Biscuits? Do you think they...
Al: No. They're not buttermilk biscuits. They're not sourdough biscuits. They're not dog biscuits.
Tim: I was just trying to make...
Al: They're not biscuits with honey, they're not biscuits with gravy, they're not biscuits in a box, or biscuits in a basket.
Tim: You're a biscuit case, Al.
Quote from Jill
Jill: I cannot believe that you have the gall to say that I am taking you for granted.
Tim: Here it goes.
Jill: For the last 15 years I've been doing all the thankless jobs around here - the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning, and in my spare time I've managed to have three children. You never once thanked me. And the one time that I come to you asking you to carry your weight around here, all I get from you is resentment. The truth is you were happier when I just was stuck here in the kitchen barefoot and pregnant. I should just squat down here right now and shoot out another kid.
Tim: Just don't do it near the furnace vent.
Quote from Wilson
Wilson: Hi-ho, neighbor. You know, Tim, I woke up this morning and the blues were all around my bed.
Tim: Maybe you should have tried vacuuming. Well, I got hit with a croquet ball. I got the black-and-blues.
Wilson: [plays harmonica and sings] Got out of my bed Got hit in the head Knocked out of my shoes I got those lowdown croquet-ball blues
Tim: When did you learn to play the harmonica?
Wilson: This morning.