Jill: I cannot believe that you have the gall to say that I am taking you for granted.
Tim: Here it goes.
Jill: For the last 15 years I've been doing all the thankless jobs around here - the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning, and in my spare time I've managed to have three children. You never once thanked me. And the one time that I come to you asking you to carry your weight around here, all I get from you is resentment. The truth is you were happier when I just was stuck here in the kitchen barefoot and pregnant. I should just squat down here right now and shoot out another kid.
Tim: Just don't do it near the furnace vent.

Wilson: Hi-ho, neighbor. You know, Tim, I woke up this morning and the blues were all around my bed.
Tim: Maybe you should have tried vacuuming. Well, I got hit with a croquet ball. I got the black-and-blues.
Wilson: [plays harmonica and sings] Got out of my bed Got hit in the head Knocked out of my shoes I got those lowdown croquet-ball blues
Tim: When did you learn to play the harmonica?
Wilson: This morning.

Tim: But I also should learn to listen to your feelings and understand what you're going through. You helped me when I changed careers into Tool Time. And, you know, I want to do the same for you, 'cause, with your talent, you might have your own show. Your own psychology show, can you imagine? "Is everyone cognizant of what time it's become?" "It's Psycho Time."