Tim Quote #1155
Quote from Tim in It Was the Best of Tims, It Was the Worst of Tims
Jill: You were incredible at that shower. You were funny and charming and sexy. All the women wanted to be married to you.
Tim: Mmm. [kisses Jill] I wanted to be married to them, too. Maybe we could work out some kind of time-share arrangement.
Jill: You know, sometimes I just forget what an amazing hunk of man you are.
Tim: Ohh. Well, I'd love to stick around and give you a little reminder, but... the boys need me.
Jill: I need you.
Tim: [car horn] Ah! Demolition derby... sexy wife. Demolition derby... ooh, sexy wife. Could you hold that thought till about 10:00 tonight?
Jill: Wait a minute. This thought here? [kisses Tim]
Tim: Mmm, mmm, mmm. That would... that would be the one.
Jill: Hurry back, mister.
Tim: Every time I see two heaps slam into one another tonight, I'll be thinking about us.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘It Was the Best of Tims, It Was the Worst of Tims’ Quotes
Quote from Tim
Tim: What a great night with the boys, though. A lot of good food... Oh! [unbuttons belt] Ah! Ohh! I got some double-cheese nachos sitting right here. [burps] Ohh!
Jill: Tim!
Tim: Got a little gas ball moving, moving... [burps] Ah!
Jill: This is real attractive.
Tim: So... where were we?
Jill: It's kinda hard to remember.
Tim: This'll refresh your memory. [goes to kiss Jill; stifles burp] Sorry. Sorry. I'm sorry. Mark was right. Ohh. You shouldn't have double onions on those chili dogs. Hello... [vents the bed sheet]
Quote from Tim
Tim: Anyway, being a master plumber, Felix is experienced with all sorts of bathroom problems - sinks, showers... Speaking of showers, what do you think of baby showers?
Felix: Well, I'm against them. I think babies should take baths.
Tim: No, no, it's a different sort of shower. It's like when women get together and yap about what to do when their water breaks.
Felix: With any kind of water breakage, you wanna call a licensed plumber.
Quote from Tim
Tim: Anyway, today we continue our week-long salute... [drain gurgling] to plumbing. And joining us today is master plumber Felix Myman. Let's give him a big Tool Time welcome. Good to have you aboard, Felix.
Felix: Nice to be here, Tim.
Tim: Felix and I go way back, right?
Felix: That's right, Tim. I've been to your house for all of your plumbing disasters. [Tim groans] The water heater, the dishwasher, Jill's bathtub...
Tim: I think we get the point. Anyway, we'll try to get... [Al chuckles on the phone]