Tim Quote #2884
Quote from Tim in Taking Jill for Granite
Jill: Good morning.
Tim: Is that what you're wearing?
Jill: What's wrong with the clothes I'm wearing?
Tim: Nothing, if we're going to a tractor pull or something. But the granite guy is coming. [doorbell rings] Put on lipstick, do something with your hair?
Jill: Sure, and I'll put on some pearls for the plumber. God!
Tim: [opens door] Oh, hi. Patty. You're just in time for the granite guy.
Patty: I don't know what you're talking about. It's not the first time, though. Jill, I brought your psych book.
Jill: Thank you.
Tim: Look at Patty. She looks great, doesn't she? Now, she is ready for the granite guy.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Taking Jill for Granite’ Quotes
Quote from Tim
Tim: For a minute there I thought you said you fired my granite guy.
Jill: I did. When I gave him a lift home, he came on to me.
Tim: You fired the granite guy?
Jill: Did you hear what I said? He came on to me.
Tim: Did he say you have a nice outfit or something?
Jill: He kissed me.
Tim: [stammers] What did you do?
Jill: I pushed him away.
Tim: Well, you should've fired him!
Jill: I did fire him!
Tim: You fired the granite guy?!
Quote from Heidi
Heidi: Welcome to Tool Time on location from Al's living room. Today we're gonna show you how to conserve energy. Now, a good place to start would be replacing all your old insulation. I would recommend that you-
Tim: Heidi?
Heidi: Yes?
Tim: Do tell us when the camera is rolling.
Heidi: Okay... [exits]
Quote from Tim
Jill: I feel terrible, I am really sorry.
Tim: Are you? Or maybe inside you're jumping for joy? Huh? Huh? Maybe you and Ian are just spinning a web of twisted little lies. And I am just your prawn.
Jill: Tim, a prawn is a big shrimp.
Tim: Right. You can't play chess with a crustacean.