Tim Quote #2882
Quote from Tim in Taking Jill for Granite
Tim: The god of granite just smiled on us!
Jill: Meaning?
Tim: We hired the best guy in the state.
Jill: Yes!
Tim: Well, apparently the couple he was working for split up. She got the sport ute and the house, he got the Shih Tzu. And we got the granite guy!
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Taking Jill for Granite’ Quotes
Quote from Tim
Tim: For a minute there I thought you said you fired my granite guy.
Jill: I did. When I gave him a lift home, he came on to me.
Tim: You fired the granite guy?
Jill: Did you hear what I said? He came on to me.
Tim: Did he say you have a nice outfit or something?
Jill: He kissed me.
Tim: [stammers] What did you do?
Jill: I pushed him away.
Tim: Well, you should've fired him!
Jill: I did fire him!
Tim: You fired the granite guy?!
Quote from Heidi
Heidi: Welcome to Tool Time on location from Al's living room. Today we're gonna show you how to conserve energy. Now, a good place to start would be replacing all your old insulation. I would recommend that you-
Tim: Heidi?
Heidi: Yes?
Tim: Do tell us when the camera is rolling.
Heidi: Okay... [exits]
Quote from Tim
Jill: I feel terrible, I am really sorry.
Tim: Are you? Or maybe inside you're jumping for joy? Huh? Huh? Maybe you and Ian are just spinning a web of twisted little lies. And I am just your prawn.
Jill: Tim, a prawn is a big shrimp.
Tim: Right. You can't play chess with a crustacean.