Jill Quote #905
Quote from Jill in Bright Christmas
Lillian: Oh, now, come on now, come on. You remember when you girls were little and your father would get up on Christmas and make his famous apple pancakes?
Jill: Oh, yeah. And as soon as he left the room we fed them to the dog.
Lillian: Do you think that's what killed the dog?
Jill: [laughs] Well, it was sweet of him to do it for us. And nice of him to pass his cooking skills along to me.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Bright Christmas’ Quotes
Quote from Tim
Tim: This will be my most exciting lighting display ever. The guys at the power plant will be working overtime for this bad boy, huh?
Mark: Uh, you might want to read this flyer. I found it in the mailbox. It's from the lighting contest committee.
Tim: "Because certain rooftop displays have continually exceeded the bounds of prudent energy consumption and good taste, this year's lighting contest will be strictly regulated"?!
Randy: They're pulling the plug on you, Dad.
Tim: What makes you think this has to do with me?
Randy: It says right here, "To be referred to, henceforth, as the Tim Taylor clause".
Tim: This is bunk. This is bunk. Come on! "Electricity is limited to two 20-amp breakers." Who can work with that? "No bulbs over 25 watts." Ha, ha! "Maximum height of elves, three feet." What kind of elf is three foot tall?
Brad: Yeah, well, this one's gonna kill you. "Nativity scenes may include only characters specifically mentioned in the Bible."
Randy: Which means no more Three Stooges.
Tim: Those were the Three Wise Men.
Randy: Oh, really? Then why were they poking each other in the eye?
Tim: To break up the trip.
Quote from Wilson
Jill: I'm sorry, I'm just upset about this whole thing with my mother and her new boyfriend.
Wilson: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
Jill: Tim says I should wait till after the holidays to talk to her about it, but I'm acting so crazy. I'm throwing baked goods at Keith Partridge. I don't know. What do you think?
Wilson: Well, he's no Greg Brady, but....
Jill: No! I mean, what do you think about whether I should talk to her.
Wilson: Well, I agree with the poet William Blake, who said, "I was angry with my friend I told my wrath My wrath did end".
Jill: Yeah, but if I talk to her it could ruin her Christmas.
Wilson: If you don't talk to her, it could ruin everybody else's.
Quote from Al
Al: Well, in the meantime, why don't we look at some stocking stuffers from Binford?
Heidi: This year, say "Merry Christmas" with how-to videos starring Tim and Al.
Al: That's right. Show your loved ones how to get rid of that annoying hum from lights in Silence of the Lamps.
Heidi: And learn when to use nails instead of adhesives in Glueless.
Al: And my personal favorite, The Nutty Compressor. They loved this one in France.