Wilson Quote #351
Quote from Wilson in Losing My Religion
[As Randy sits down on the couch, a fart noise is let out. He pulls out a whoopee cushion from under the seat.]
Wilson: Well, I was wondering where I left that. I also misplaced my darn seltzer bottle. I just keep losing all my props.
Randy: Wilson?
Wilson: No, no, no, not today. When I volunteer for the children, I am Bubbles the clown. [chuckles] Oh, Becky, would you like to put these in some water?
Becky: Bubbles, I don't have any water.
Wilson: Well, you do now. [sprays her with the flower on his lapel]
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Losing My Religion’ Quotes
Quote from Tim
Tim: You know, there's a place where people get together and pray for God's protection.
Randy: Dad, I'm not going to church.
Tim: I was talking about Tool Time.
Quote from Jill
Jill: So what exactly are you going to be doing at the hospice?
Randy: I'll be spending my time with a woman named Elaine. You know, we'll play cards, watch videos.
Tim: Hey, why don't you take her some old Tool Time videos?
Jill: The woman has suffered enough.
Quote from Tim
Jill: What is this? I mean, you're not exactly Mr. Religious. I mean, half the time in church you fall asleep.
Tim: But I'm in the building, so I get credit.
Jill: [laughs] Is that what this is about?
Tim: That's God's plan.
Jill: God's plan?
Tim: Yes, you go to church, you get credit. You fall asleep, you lose a credit. You understand the sermon, you get extra credit. If you get enough credits, you can bypass hell and upgrade right to heaven.