Jill Quote #785
Quote from Jill in My Son, the Driver
Jill: [telephone rings] That's Brad!
Patty: [picks up the phone] Of course, since it's my apartment, it might be for me. [on the phone] Hello? OK. Just calm down. Tell me everything that happened.
Jill: It's Brad. What is it? What's wrong?
Patty: Mother, if you just had a root canal, why are you eating Gummy Bears?
Tim: You got to stop obsessing about this. You'll make yourself sick.
Patty: Mom, you have to hold on. I've got another call. [switches line] Hello? Oh, my God!
Jill: I knew it! Something's happened to Brad!
Patty: A baby girl?
Tim: My son had a baby girl.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘My Son, the Driver’ Quotes
Quote from Tim
Jill: All right. Obey all traffic laws, especially no speeding. Keep that seat belt fastened. No kids drinking, smoking. No sex, no drugs.
Jill: Or anything else.
Brad: What else is there?
Tim: Plenty. All right... No oval shots in parking lots or doing doughnuts in people's lawns. And absolutely, absolutely... no mooning while the car's in gear.
Jill: What about when it's not?
Tim: Use your best judgment.
Quote from Wilson
Brad: I'm gonna need a pretty big tow truck to pull me out of this mess.
Wilson: So, you're saying that if your father found out you hit another car, he would view that as an unforgivable offense?
Brad: Yeah.
Wilson: Well, Brad, it seems to me he might consider lying a far worse offense.
Brad: So either way, I'm in deep yak butter.
Wilson: [sighs] You know, Brad, the novelist Han Suyin had some very choice words for situations like this. "Truth, like surgery, might hurt. But it cures."
Brad: Yeah. My mom and dad also have a few choice words for situations like this. But, I'm not allowed to say 'em.
Quote from Tim
Jill: Well, who cares about the car?
Tim: It's a classic Nomad.
Jill: Well, I was more concerned about our son.
Tim: I was concerned, but now he's OK, I just wanna what kind of damage he did.
Jill: Well, it couldn't be as bad as when you dropped that three-ton beam on it.
Doug: Wait. You dropped a beam on a classic Nomad?
Tim: Yeah, yeah. You know... the up side was I got to cherry it out, I dropped a big block in it.
Doug: Oh, man! I sure hope that car's OK.
Patty: Doug. Shut up.