Tim Quote #2417
Quote from Tim in A Funny Valentine
Tim: One thing The Tool Man never forgets is to buy the wife a Valentine's Day present.
Al: Yeah, but you usually end up doing it late and buying Jill a box of waxy chocolates from the gas station.
Tim: Oh, how little you know, my funny little "Alentine." I bought Jill's gift this year in July.
Al: So they'll be waxy and stale?
Tim: I didn't get chocolates. I found something I knew she'd love, so I bought it on the spot because I knew I would forget.
Al: Yeah? What did you get her?
Tim: I don't remember.
Al: You don't remember what you bought?
Tim: I will when I get it out from where I hid it.
Al: Yeah? Where'd you hide it?
Tim: [chuckles] I don't remember.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘A Funny Valentine’ Quotes
Quote from Tim
Tim: Welcome to Tool Time. I am Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor. Of course, you all know my assistant, Al Borland. [crowd applause] Well, welcome to remodeling week here on Tool Time. Today we're gonna show you some space-saving items around the home, like this clever little clap rack.
Al: All right, let's start over here at the kitchen counter.
Tim: No better way to save space than utilize it well. Under-counter recycling bins.
Al: And this narrow area is a great place for a dispenser for aluminum, wax paper and plastic wrap.
Tim: And what about my special drawer?
Al: What is so special about this drawer?
Tim: This is a drawer you can put all the stuff you can't find any other place for. You know, like buttons and pins that don't work, string, thimbles, you know, navel lint, rakes, brooms, skis, poles... There's even room for you in there, Al.
Al: I don't think so, Tim.
Quote from Al
Al: All right. Now, this is a nifty idea. This is a cooling unit in a drawer. It's great for fruits and vegetables, close to the cutting board.
Tim: As well as your wine, your beer, your vodka.
Al: And that extra liver you're going to need for the transplant.
Quote from Tim
Al: Now, if you need some extra space in the utility room, this unit is a washer/dryer all in one.
Tim: Oh! Finished your laundry, Al. [holds up a large pair of flannel underpants] Oh, gosh darn it, I must've shrunk 'em.
Al: All right. Now, over to the family unit here.
Tim: Now, you can't possibly tell me these are called briefs. How many flannels you have to kill to get underwear this size?