Al Quote #321
Quote from Al in Workin' Man Blues
Tim: Well, it's time to dip into the old mail bag, Al.
Al: That's right. And our first letter is from "Perplexed in Petoskey."
Tim: Ah, Petoskey. They have that beautiful tire parade and pickle festival. Gherkins and whitewalls. Love that.
Al: OK. "I tried to install some dowels in an oak shelf unit. They expanded and wouldn't fit in the holes. What can I do?"
Tim: Well, most people don't know this, but you can shrink an oak dowel if you put it in the microwave for two minutes.
Al: That's true. And then just sprinkle a little cheddar on top, you'll have a nice oak-aroni and cheese. [snorts]
Tim: You want to keep a lookout for Al's new book, Cooking with Lumber.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Workin' Man Blues’ Quotes
Quote from Wilson
Wilson: So, what brings you to this indoor amalgam of vendors, colloquially known as "the mall?"
Brad: I'm just killing time before my job interview at the Wiener Barn. What are you doing?
Wilson: Well, Brad, I'm on a quest for a new hobby. I've narrowed it down to either channeling Aztec spirits... ...or rollerblading. Brad, do you know anything about these skates?
Brad: Sure do. These softer ones are for indoor. These harder, faster ones are for outdoor. The bearings are rated by ABEC numbers that go from one to 12. Most use three.
Wilson: Well, I don't know, Brad. Maybe channeling Aztec spirits is a lot safer.
Brad: Aren't the Aztecs the ones that cut the hearts out of people that were still alive?
Wilson: [gulps] I'm gonna go for those Turbo Roller 2000s.
Quote from Heidi
Tim: Well, that finishes our segment on home safety. I hope you learned something.
Al: I know I have. Next time, we'll use a fireproof sign.
Heidi: I'll call our insurance adjuster.
Tim: It's on the speed dial, number eight.
Heidi: Oh, really?
Quote from Brad
Brad: Coffee, anyone?
Mark: We don't drink coffee. We're kids.
Randy: And the word on the street is, so are you.
Brad: [adds heaps of sugar] Hey, as of today, I'm a working man. And a working man needs his morning coffee. [drinks]
Randy: A little more sugar, and the working man can fly to work.
Brad: Pass me the business section.
Tim: Well, there's the working stiff. You guys having a good day? Thanks for the coffee, buddy. [drinks] I'm not sure you put enough coffee in the sugar, did you?