Tim Quote #2223
Quote from Tim in Whose Car is it Anyway?
Tim: It's also important to have a quality chemical extinguisher put in the house.
Al: That's right. Now, what if your extinguisher is empty and the fire is spreading?
Tim: Run like hell and hope you have good insurance.
Al: Binford has a better idea.
Tim: They always do, Al. Show us what they got.
Al: Introducing the Binford 6100 Home Fireman. Now, it taps right into your cold water line. And you want to be sure the main valve is in the off position when stored. [Tim turns the valve to on] Now, you got 40 feet of hose, double hose construction and a separate on/off switch right here. [man screaming] Oh!
Tim: That's perfect if you want to put out a cigarette or irritate a Teamster.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Whose Car is it Anyway?’ Quotes
Quote from Tim
Tim: I didn't mean to steamroll you and ruin your fun. The truth is, I have the problem. I'm addicted to cars.
Jill: Well, duh.
Tim: I want to apologize for all the times I've wronged you automotivally.
Jill: That could take years.
Tim: That's why we've got to start, okay? Just listen. All right. Your birthday, 1975. Remember you wanted earrings? I bought you that chrome dipstick. Valentine's Day, 1976. You wanted earrings, I got you a case of transmission fluid. [timelapse] Our wedding, 1979. I insisted on the hot rod theme. Remember the three-barrel Stromberg wedding cake? It was a big hit. Christmas, 1980.
Jill: Tim. How do you remember all these dates?
Tim: It's part of my car sickness. I need help. I'm thinking of checking in to the Henry Ford Clinic.
Quote from Tim
Tim: These things require constant attention, honey.
Jill: Yeah, I know. I was thinking I could learn about the car, and do some of the work myself.
Tim: [laughing] Ooh, boy. These have a positive ground wiring system that nobody understands. And don't even get me started on side draft carburetors. This... It's a shocker. I don't know what to say.
Jill: How about saying that you're really happy that I got the car I wanted?
Tim: All right. l... l... It's British! These people made a fighter plane out of wood!
Jill: Tim.
Tim: They put kidneys in pies, for God's sake!
Quote from Tim
Mark: What are you doing? [Tim hits his head on the hood]
Randy: I thought Mom said not to touch her car.
Tim: She'll be glad I did. I'm just checking out the wire, making sure there's no loose connections.
Brad: You're hotwiring Mom's car, aren't you?
Tim: I'm bypassing the ignition.
Randy: What kind of a twisted human being hotwires his wife's car?
Tim: You guys are old enough to know the truth. Your father is a sick, sick man.