Tim Quote #2234
Quote from Tim in Whose Car is it Anyway?
Mark: What are you doing? [Tim hits his head on the hood]
Randy: I thought Mom said not to touch her car.
Tim: She'll be glad I did. I'm just checking out the wire, making sure there's no loose connections.
Brad: You're hotwiring Mom's car, aren't you?
Tim: I'm bypassing the ignition.
Randy: What kind of a twisted human being hotwires his wife's car?
Tim: You guys are old enough to know the truth. Your father is a sick, sick man.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Whose Car is it Anyway?’ Quotes
Quote from Tim
Tim: I didn't mean to steamroll you and ruin your fun. The truth is, I have the problem. I'm addicted to cars.
Jill: Well, duh.
Tim: I want to apologize for all the times I've wronged you automotivally.
Jill: That could take years.
Tim: That's why we've got to start, okay? Just listen. All right. Your birthday, 1975. Remember you wanted earrings? I bought you that chrome dipstick. Valentine's Day, 1976. You wanted earrings, I got you a case of transmission fluid. [timelapse] Our wedding, 1979. I insisted on the hot rod theme. Remember the three-barrel Stromberg wedding cake? It was a big hit. Christmas, 1980.
Jill: Tim. How do you remember all these dates?
Tim: It's part of my car sickness. I need help. I'm thinking of checking in to the Henry Ford Clinic.
Quote from Tim
Tim: These things require constant attention, honey.
Jill: Yeah, I know. I was thinking I could learn about the car, and do some of the work myself.
Tim: [laughing] Ooh, boy. These have a positive ground wiring system that nobody understands. And don't even get me started on side draft carburetors. This... It's a shocker. I don't know what to say.
Jill: How about saying that you're really happy that I got the car I wanted?
Tim: All right. l... l... It's British! These people made a fighter plane out of wood!
Jill: Tim.
Tim: They put kidneys in pies, for God's sake!
Quote from Al
Heidi: Does everybody know what time it is?
Audience: Tool Time!
Heidi: That's right. Binford Tools is proud to present Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor! Woo-hoo! [cheering]
Tim: Thank you. Thank you, everybody. Thank you, Heidi, our Tool Time mother-to-be. [cheering] Welcome to Tool Time. I am Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor. Of course, you all know my assistant, Al Borland. [cheering]
Al: Yesterday we showed you how to treat an electrical burn. [Tim holds up his arm] And a thermal burn. [Al holds up his arm]
Tim: But now we're showing the important part, fire safety equipment for the home. [siren sounding]
Al: Now, the most important piece of equipment in your home is the smoke alarm.
Tim: We suggest putting one of these in every room of the house.
Al: And if you're like Tim you should wear one on you belt.