Al Quote #276
Quote from Al in Engine and a Haircut, Two Fights
Al: All right, we're gonna finish off our wall with adobe, which is a mixture of sand, straw and mud. Just trowel her on.
Al: You can use a trowel or you can use your bare hands.
[title: "What Al doesn't know is that Tim has added dung to the adobe."]
Al: Ah! There's nothing like the feel of fresh adobe underneath your fingernails.
[title: "What Tim doesn't know is that Al replaced the dung with real adobe."]
Tim: Pile it on, Al.
Al: I might add that, for you ladies at home, adobe makes a wonderful mud pack for the face.
Tim: Why don't you show them how to do that, Al?
Al: I'd love to, Tim. [smears adobe on Tim's face]
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Engine and a Haircut, Two Fights’ Quotes
Quote from Randy
Wilson: "Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love, and I'll no longer be a Capulet."
Jill: Well, I guess I'm the one that's no longer a Capulet. Apparently, I've been replaced.
Randy: No, you haven't. I was just out here rehearsing with Wilson so I'd be good enough to rehearse with you.
Wilson: Jill, I am so sorry. I had no idea I was usurping your role.
Jill: Oh, come on. You've had your eye on this part all week.
Wilson: Now, that is not true! Young Randy came out here and beseeched me to step into the role.
Jill: You beseeched him?
Randy: I didn't beseech anybody! I don't even know what "beseech" means.
Quote from Wilson
Randy: "When he bestrides the lazy puffing clouds and floats upon the bosom of the air."
Wilson: "O Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou Romeo? Deny thy father and refuse thy name."
Randy: Oh, Wilson. I gotta tell you you're a much better Juliet than Mom.
Wilson: Well, thank you, young Randy. I wouldn't want to disparage another actor, but at the Greenville School for Boys, I was known as quite a breathtaking Juliet. And it wasn't easy playing a love scene opposite that pimple-faced Herman Dilbert. You know, I got nothing from him. It was like acting with a head of lettuce.
Randy: Wilson, could we?
Quote from Randy
Randy: I don't know. One of those kids has been the lead in all the school plays.
Jill: But I'll bet that he doesn't come from a theatrical family.
Randy: I hate to break this to you, Mom, but Tool Time isn't exactly great theater. Even though it does usually end in tragedy.