Tim Quote #1960
Quote from Tim in The Vasectomy One
Dr. Kaplan: Then I make two small cuts, and simply divide and tie up the tubes. The discomfort is very minimal.
Tim: Why don't you tell that to the boys in the basement?
Dr. Kaplan: You'll be back to normal in a few days. The only restriction is you won't be able to drive home that day.
Tim: What? I can't drive? Forget about it.
Jill: What do you mean, "Forget about it"?
Tim: Honey, honestly, I was really into it up to that point. The driving thing iced it.
Jill: It's just one day!
Tim: Look, it's bad enough to separate a man from his sperm. But separate a man from his car? That's inhuman. Harold, wait up.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘The Vasectomy One’ Quotes
Quote from Tim
Tim: I thought you were talking about the tube-tying thing.
Jill: Well, I am talking about tube-tying, except it's your tubes.
Tim: You can back up that clip ship right now.
Jill: Honey, it is much safer for a man to get a vasectomy than it is for a woman to have a tubal ligation.
Tim: Says who? The Wives with Knives Club?
Quote from Jill
Tim: A woman? You brought me here to see a woman?
Jill: I didn't know she was a woman. My gynecologist just said that Dr. Kaplan was the best urologist in town.
Tim: How am I supposed to talk to a woman about what's going on in manland?
Jill: Manland? Now you got a theme park between your legs?
Quote from Tim
Jill: Why don't you tell us what's involved in the procedure.
Tim: Yeah, I'm dying to hear this.
Dr. Kaplan: Well, the morning of your appointment, you'll have to shave in the area where I'll be making the incisions.
Tim: Shave? Here?
Dr. Kaplan: It's just a routine procedure.
Tim: Not in my house it's not. What do you think? I wake up, brush my teeth and shave ping and pong?
Jill: Well, you could go to a barber, but it might be a little awkward.