Jill Quote #650
Quote from Jill in Tanks for the Memories
Tim: Congratulations. You just did something most countries can't do - you got the Marines to retreat.
Jill: They didn't leave because of me. They left because you got angry.
Tim: Well, excuse me! Not only did you beat me on the obstacle course, you defend me like I'm a five-year-old.
Jill: Well, you're acting like a five-year-old. You're just upset because I drove the tank well.
Tim: No. I'm upset because you driving it well made me look like an idiot!
Jill: Well, even if I hadn't been there you still would've driven like an idiot.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Tanks for the Memories’ Quotes
Quote from Al
Al: Now, the object of the game is to finish your project without having to call an ambulance. You can learn as you go along. Mark, why don't you start us off?
Mark: OK. Start. Two. "Tim makes bad joke about Al's mom. Audience boos. Lose a turn."
Al: Mother loves that card.
Brad: All right, it's my turn.
Al: That's right.
Brad: Ooh, four. "Al's away at National Bingo Finals. Tim hosts show alone and ratings drop."
Randy: All right. My turn. All right, here we go. Six, OK... five, six. All All right. Pick up a card. "Tim installs faulty wiring. You're accidentally electrocuted."
[Sparks fly on the game as Randy's figure is knocked down. The lights flash and sirens wail on the ambulance and emergency room]
Al: You lose.
Quote from Al
Al: Well, that was a pretty quick game of Scrabble. Now we're ready for Chinese Checkers.
Brad: Oh, sorry, Al. Mom says we're not allowed to be playing "Chinese Checkers" before bed. Makes us too hyper.
Al: All right. Well, if conventional games don't tickle your fancy, I have a board game that you have never seen.
I invented this myself. It is the prototype for what could become a national craze.
Mark: "The Tool Time Game"? Awesome! How do you play?
Al: Well, you have your choice of figures. You can be Heidi. You can be Al. And you can be Tim in a body cast.
Brad: All right, I got Heidi.
Randy: Al.
Mark: Aw, man!
Quote from Al
Tim: Well, let's cut to the chase. Is there any way you could swing it so that I could drive a tank?
Lt. Col. McDougal: Well, Tim, if you ever came to California, where I'm stationed, I'm sure we could arrange it.
Tim: All right!
Al: Excuse me, Colonel, but letting Tim drive a tank, well... that's jeopardizing national security.
Tim: Let it go, Al, please?
Lt. Col. McDougal: Al, you got nothing to worry about. We've got 10,000 Marines on the base to keep their eyes on Tim.
Tim: Right!
Al: It's not enough.